If you must thank anyone, thank Life – for giving you this
once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to learn, unlearn and relearn….!
As
Thanksgiving weekend begins, the energies are perfect to pause, to reflect and
to feel grateful for all the blessings in your Life. It’s a great season – warm
and compassionate, beautiful and soulful. Yet, gratitude must not be expressed
seasonally. It has to be flowing perennially – oozing from your every pore,
bubbling from the fountainhead within you. The reason we don’t always feel
grateful all the time is because we take much of Life for granted. We have
subconsciously come to believe that we have the right to demand, to seek
deservance and to expect Life to be our hand maiden – pandering to our whims and
desires. But just the opposite is true. Since you – or I – did not ask to be
born, since this lifetime is a gift, all that you can and must do in Life is to
accept whatever comes your way – and be eternally grateful for it.
I
was at a south Indian Palaghattan (a
community of Brahmins having its roots in Palakkad, Kerala) wedding this morning.
The wedding feast is a must for all invitees. It is an elaborate multi-course
meal served on a banana leaf. Today’s menu had over 24 items on it. But
something appeared to have gone wrong in the kitchen this morning. Or was it
with the service crew? Either we guests had arrived for the sadya, the feast, several minutes ahead
of the kitchen being ready with the whole meal, or the service crew were short-staffed.
Whatever may have been the reason – the food service was haphazard and woefully
slow. The rasam arrived ahead of the sambar. And the thayir-pachadi (a curd-based vegetable side dish) came after the
whole meal was over! Several guests did not even receive all the 24 items that
were on the menu. Even as I felt sorry for one of the hosts, who was running
around rallying the kitchen crew to fall into a systematic way of serving, I
could not but help recall what Epictetus (55~135 AD), a Greek thinker and
philosopher, had to say about Life: “Remember that you
must behave in Life as you would at a banquet. A dish is handed round and comes
to you; put out your hand and take it politely. If it passes you, do not stop
it. If it has not reached you, do not be impatient to get it, but wait till
your turn comes.” I would like to humbly suggest that
when your turn does come, be grateful
for whatever you get!
The
wedding feast and Epictetus’ banquet metaphor perfectly sum up the spirit we
need to nurture in Life! Not just around Thanksgiving but all the time. But in
an instant-gratification, what’s-in-it-for-me world, where is the time to feel
grateful for anyone or anything? Which is why we perhaps need a season to
remind us of it.
One
of the most inspiring examples of gratitude I have known is the way the
inimitable Asha Bhosle, now 80, feels about Life. She’s had a roller-coaster 80
years! A bad marriage, being thrown out of home by her husband, struggling to
get a toehold in Bollywood as a playback singer, a victim of her own sibling’s
designs that prevented her from growing in her career, an eventful relationship
with R.D.Burman before he suddenly died in 1994, the death of her only daughter
who committed suicide recently. Such a Life, filled with pain and strife, could
have numbed anyone. But not Ashaji! She was asked by Forbes Life a couple of years back what she thought of Life. She
replied: “I am very grateful. If I had not married, I would not have had such
wonderful children and grandchildren. If I had not married, I would not have
left home. If I had not left home, I would not have started singing. If I had
not met Bhosle (her estranged husband who ill-treated her), I would not have
become Asha Bhosle!” What an inspiring take on Life? “If I had
not met Bhosle, I would not have become Asha Bhosle.” How many
of us can forgive someone who caused us immense pain and look at Life from this
perspective – with absolute gratitude! Beautiful!!
Let
us always remember that Life is a gift. The only way to live our lives is to
celebrate Life in every moment! Every event we go through, each person we meet,
is a teacher. Each experience is teaching us to live fully and happily – no matter
what we have to face or endure. We are the ones who label each event as good or
bad. From Life’s point of view, each event is simply a learning
opportunity. It is for this continuous learning that we must be grateful – not just
in this season, but all the time!
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