All ‘easiness’ comes from endurance

At every ugly turn that your Life takes, just remember this: you really don’t know what’s round the bend, so don’t despair, don’t conclude that Life is unfair, don’t give up. Just flow with Life.

Often times in Life, events unfold with seeming cold-bloodedness, that leave you socked. But Life operates on a plane of inner evolution more than what is evident. Every external event is designed to help you dive deeper to discover yourself, summon your endless inner potential and for you to awaken to the right way of thinking, living, working and winning. What we call ‘fate’ or ‘chance’ is actually a mysterious turn that always delivers a fruitful outcome in the end.

A friend recently suggested, in a lighter vein perhaps, that motivational speaking (with an obvious reference to my ability to inspire audiences) is easy. I thought about it. To churn out nuggets of wisdom perhaps is indeed easy. As easy as it is for Messi to score a goal or Tendulkar to have hit any of his 100 international centuries! But all ‘easiness’ comes only from endurance. I always like to clarify that I am more an inspired, motivated speaker than just a motivational or inspirational speaker. I am inspired from the way Life has dealt with me and motivated by the way it continues to challenge me. What the world sees as a post every morning, that invokes soul, provokes thought and hopefully inspires action, comes from the ability to live in each moment, fully, drink in the bliss it contains, and learn from the experience. All this, despite the external circumstances.

To be sure, I wasn’t this way at all. Just over 15 years ago, I was a man in a hurry: angry, foul-mouthed, chewing tobacco and drinking daily. Perhaps, arrogant and jealous too. Yet I led our consulting Firm well and profitably. We had six offices, 40 people, and 38 highly satisfied clients across the world. Then, something happened. From an evolutionary perspective, perhaps, hubris__that ugly English word!__set in. From a business point of view, a couple of strategic mistakes happened that led to our Firm going bankrupt and we, as a family, becoming insolvent. (More on this story and what the experience taught me is contained in my Book, “Fall Like A Rose Petal – A father’s lessons on how to be happy and content while living without money”; Westland, August 2014) It was traumatic. But when I look back, without that ugly turn, I wouldn’t have been able to understand the value of this gift called Life. I wouldn’t have been inspired to unravel the meaning behind the two words: “Intelligent Living.” I wouldn’t have been motivated to plough on. I wouldn’t have understood what loving and relating, as taught by Osho, the Master, really meant. I wouldn’t have understood the value of relationships nor the impermanence of money and Life! I wouldn’t have experienced the kindness and compassion that is so intrinsic to the human race. I wouldn’t have learnt my Life’s most important lesson: always “serve” before you say you  “deserve”!

So, that’s a short autobiography to let you know that Life’s design is indeed as inscrutable for me as it is for you! Life deals with all of us__similarly. The events in our lives may still be different, but Life is always leading us to the same destination. Which is Self-Realization. And however difficult the road may just be, remember this too: Life’s Master Plan has no flaws. You will arrive and awaken, just as all of humanity, including me, has.

Indeed. Without doubt, it’s all small stuff!

Between wanting to be right and doing what is right, and what is best in a given circumstance, choose the latter.

Yesterday, while at a busy intersection, when the traffic light turned to green, I hung a right. My car was behind another. As I completed the right turn, a car coming from the street opposite, broke the red light (which was on for that lane) and rammed into my car’s rear. A traffic policeman was on duty. And he rushed forward. I stepped out and surveyed the damage. My car was dented while the other car only had a scratch as it had a huge metal guard mounted on its front. The gentleman driving the other car was wearing a tie. He looked like he was a senior management executive in a corporate; he had a blue tooth device on his ear and a smart phone strapped to his belt. I said nothing while I looked at both the cars. The cop, looked at the gentleman and asked him, “Couldn’t you see that you had a red light?” The gentleman retorted: “Of course not! I had a green light as I drove past the signal.” Pointing to me, he continued, “This man drove past the red light at his end.” The traffic cop was aghast. So was I. A couple of onlookers were surprised too. One of them, an auto-rickshaw driver was blunt. He said to the gentleman, “Sir, the least you can do is apologize.” That comment ticked off the gentleman even more. He became livid. He looked at the hapless traffic cop and declared that he knew senior officers in the police force. He looked at me and demanded an apology. I reflected on the situation. I considered that we were holding up traffic during rush hour. The dent on my car surely needed addressing. But, I concluded, I was not going to demand justice at the cost of my peace of mind. I apologized to the gentleman, shook hands with the traffic cop, thanked the auto-rickshaw driver, got into my car and drove away.

It is possible my choice is debatable. But that’s what, I believed, was the best thing to do in the circumstances.

As I drove away, I thought to myself: ‘How would I have handled this situation just 10 years ago?’ Surely, I would have stood my ground. I would have been seething with rage. I would have insisted that the gentleman was at fault. And the episode would have dragged into a saga – involving an accident complaint, an insurance claim and a burning desire to prove myself right and the other man wrong. And then I thought deeper, would my being right in a street brawl, have really mattered 10 years later, to this New Year’s Day of 2014? Certainly not! I guess that’s what evolution as an individual is all about. I felt good that I had evolved, even if marginally, over the years!

Often the biggest hurdle to individual evolution is the desire to want to control outcomes, to prove oneself right and to hold on to opinions. Focusing on the merits of each experience is perhaps a good way to ascertain and convince yourself if such clinging on is really worth it. I have learned that answering three questions really help making an intelligent choice in any circumstance:

1.       Will what you are fighting for really matter some years from now?
2.       What is best for all parties involved – letting go or proving yourself right?
3.       Which stance – letting go or clinging on – will help preserve your inner peace?

Several years ago, I remember reading Richard Carlson’s fabulous book “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff…”. It makes so much more sense now than it did then. I particularly like the second line of the book’s title that says – “…and it’s all small stuff”. Indeed, in Life’s grander, larger, design, everything – absolutely everything – is small stuff. And any fight to cling on to anything is bound to affect your inner peace! Ask yourself, each time before you launch into an ‘I-am-right’ mode if it is really worth it?

               

Because, ‘Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara’

Do what you love doing! And live Life up as long as it lasts!

Another year is ending. And a new one begins in a few hours from now. Across the world people have made plans for night-long revelry and partying. Soon, as a new dawn breaks, the new year too will become predictable – and at the end of the first week, will even become routine, boring and pedestrian. We will all have returned to our daily lives, back from vacations and parties, running faster and faster on Life’s treadmill – only to discover that we are not getting anywhere. We will continue to complain: that there isn’t enough time to follow our dreams, that whatever we earn is just not enough, that we never seem to be finding true love or that our health challenges are becoming more and more unbearable.

Why is it that we often feel good when we are vacationing or are at a party and never quite feel good about the biggest party of them all – Life?

The answer lies in our understanding of Life. Or the lack of it!

Michael Schumacher's Helmet

As reports about F1 racing legend Michael Schumacher suggest, it’s tragic that he finds himself where he is. Someone who defied death on the racing tracks has been felled, rather uncannily, off it. As he battles for his Life, there’s no better message for the coming year that I can think of than the one Michael always displayed on his helmet: “Life is about passions (sic!) – Thank You for sharing mine.” To be sure, Michael lived this message! He followed his passion, he followed his bliss!

With each passing year, you are drawing closer to your death. The only thing constant and predictable about Life is that it will end. So, there’s as much a responsibility that each of us has, as there is opportunity, to live this Life, that we have been given, fully! And your Life could not have been lived fully if you have not followed your bliss – if you have not done what you loved doing.

Many of us are so caught up with earning-a-living that we have not lived. There’s a gnawing pain within, a regret that gets only more pronounced with each passing year. Every birthday is a grim reminder that there is lesser time available. And then, when something tragic, like in Michael’s case, happens to us, we look back in regret – wondering if we could not have lived Life differently. If we could not have followed our dreams. While saying all this, I am not belittling the importance of keeping your economic engine running. Of course, each of us has a responsibility towards our families – to our parents, spouses, siblings and children. Providing for them requires reprioritization of Life’s To-Do lists and, of course, money. Therefore, I am not recommending that you focus only on yourself. I am only suggesting that let your selflessness not consume your passion, your inner joy, your bliss.

So, as you enter another year, as the festivities die down, pause and reflect on your Life. Ask yourself what would you have liked to have attempted doing in Life? Work on a plan that helps you maintain a balance between what you need to keep your income stream steady and what you need to do to keep you inner joy flowing. Execute that plan in 2014. Undoubtedly, as you get started, you will struggle. You will stumble. You will fall. But keep at it. And soon, you will have learned the art of living – fully, happily!

Make each moment, for the rest of your Life, memorable. “Live” them! For, you live only once! Because, ‘Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara’!

Wishing you and your precious family lots of love, peace and abundance all through 2014…