Please Note: This
Blog will continue to feature my daily blogposts. In addition, on Sundays,
public holidays and long weekends, I will feature The Happiness Road Series
and my #HelpYourselfToHappiness Vlog Series!
Here's today's
blogpost - not posting a Vlog today, though it is a Sunday!!
Life never
lets you down. You always get what you need.
A major part of
today was spent in clearing papers and documents that had got accumulated over
the last 7~8 years – this is the time that we have been going through a
bankruptcy, acute pennilessness at most times. Some of this documentation had
to do with our medical records as a family. A substantial chunk also dealt with
the under-grad education of our two children Aashirwad and Aanchal. Aash graduated
with an Economics degree from the University of Chicago in 2012. And Aanch
graduated last year from the University of Madras with a degree in Psychology –
today, in fact, was her graduation day ceremony! As Vaani and I worked on the
papers, separating them chronologically and subject-wise, we saw a beautiful
pattern emerge. We realized
that everything that we needed has always come to – perhaps not in the form we
were expecting it to come, but it always came, often in the nick of time!
As we organized
the papers, we revisited some of the most painful and stressful times we had
gone through as a family. The fortnight prior to Aash’s graduation – I have
elaborated this story in my Book “Fall
Like A Rose Petal” (Westland, 2014); the week of Aanch’s admission to her
under-grad program; the repeated times we had defaulted on fee payments; and
the number of times our children have come close to being placed under
suspension because of their tuition fee accounts being overdue….these scenarios
played out vividly in front of our eyes. The replay left us humbled and
overwhelmed. We realized that our children have made it through college – not because
of us, but despite our grave financial circumstances; because Life willed it so,
because of the kindness that people around us have showered on us as a family.
When Vaani and
I came together in 1987 – we married in 1989 – we shared a common vision for
our family. It was a beautiful dream, that brought alive in our minds the
spirit of this song from Tapasya (1976, Anil Ganguly,
Parikshit Sahni, Raakhee, Kishore Kumar, Aarti Mukherjee, Ravindra Jain,
M.G.Hashmat).
But when the bankruptcy arrived in December 2007, our dream lay shattered in smithereens. Aash had just then secured admission to the prestigious
University of Chicago. Aanch was getting into High School. How would we put
them through college? How would we fulfil their aspirations? Where will the
money for their fees come from? These and more nerve-wracking questions would consume
me and Vaani on a daily basis. To be sure, we came up with no answers. But each
question placed us on the horns of a painful dilemma every single time. Should
we go the way Life is taking us – in the direction of letting go, and letting
Life take over – or should we go our way, humanly trying to solve and control
an unsolvable, uncontrollable, money problem? I have no logical, rational
explanations to offer why we chose the way we went. But we certainly felt
flowing with Life more meaningful. So, we let go, and went with where Life took
us. At our dining table this morning, as we sorted those papers, we discovered
how compassionately, how beautifully, Life had arranged for the education and
graduation of our children. Each time, when we came to the edge of a precipice,
with regard to their college dues, a messiah arrived in our Life, a helping
hand showed up and we were hoisted up – and Aash and Aanch made it to their
next academic terms.
Japanese writer
Haruki Murakami has said: “Whatever it is you are seeking won’t come in the
form you are expecting.” I totally agree with him. But there’s something I
would like to add, from our experience, to this perspective. Which is, Life may
often never give you what you want. Yet it gives you what you need, not the way
you think you need it, but the way Life thinks you need it. So, while all our
human plans, projections and methods to somehow get Aash and Aanch to graduate
existed in theory, on paper, and in our fervent prayer to Life, the way they
have got past their individual under-grad programs is purely the way Life has willed it.
Vaani and I
believe the best way to live is to live in a let go! Make your plans, put in
your efforts. But let go of expectations, let go of wants, and let the magic of
Life happen. When you do this, and let Life take over, you too will discover that
Life’s indeed compassionate – you always get what you need!
