Sometimes Life may just disturb a perfect, picture-postcard
family. There are no sure ways to deal with such a situation – you just learn
to cope and live.
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| At R-Day 2015: Indhu set to receive the Ashok Chakra from the President awarded to Mukund posthumously Picture Courtesy: Internet |
Yesterday, I learnt this lesson, one more
time, from Indhu Mukund. On Republic Day yesterday, as the entire nation
watched, along with our special guests, US President Barack Obama and his wife
Michelle, Indhu, 31, wife of slain Army officer Major Mukund Varadarajan (who
died in action in Shopian in Jammu and Kashmir on April 25, 2014), received the Ashok Chakra – India’s
highest peacetime gallantry award, from President Pranab Mukherjee, that was
awarded to her husband posthumously. Indhu later told NDTV’s Barkha Dutt (see the full interview here): “India should see the man Mukund was, not my sorrow.” Indhu added that it was
“Mukund’s day, his moment” yesterday and she did not want any trace of her own
emotion to “interfere” with it. Such stoicism is a rare blessing. All I can do
is to salute her and send her my prayers and positive energy.
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| The picture-postcard family: Indhu, Arshea, Mukund Photo Courtesy: Internet |
Until a year ago, the Mukunds were the
perfect family. Their daughter Arshea was barely 3 years old and everything
seemed so good to be true. And then Mukund had to go. There was national
attention on Indhu, Arshea and on Mukund’s parents. But then like most stories,
this one too, despite its emotional, human interest appeal, died down. The
Ashok Chakra announcement put the spotlight back on Indhu and the family again.
This morning’s papers too are full of pictures of her receiving the award. And
then again, soon, everyone will go on with their lives. Mukund’s sacrifice will
just remain a memory for some, and for most, a general knowledge data point.
Dutt asked Indhu on her show last night if she would ever be bitter with this
possibility. Indhu responded with amazing maturity that she would not. “I don’t
expect anyone to remember Mukund the way the family will. If the nation
remembers him as a patriot that’s good. The emotions are for me, for us as a
family.” And finally, Dutt asked Indhu how she coped, how she has been able to stay
strong: “Is it because of the love you had for Mukund?” And Indhu replied,
again with disarming equanimity, “It is because of the love I have
for him. And the regard I have for him. He would have loved me to be happy. And
my strength to live happily and give Arshea a happy Life comes from that.”
Almost everyone struggles with death. And
there is no one who has not experienced a personal loss, through the death of
someone close. Despite the fact that it is the only thing you can be sure of in
Life – that everyone among us will die someday, death, when it arrives, stuns
you. It numbs you. It is particularly devastating when it is sudden and snuffs
away someone that is so full of Life – like Mukund – and renders incomplete a
beautiful family such as his. There are no ways to prepare for such a
situation. There are no methods to deal with this inscrutable Life. The only
lesson we can learn, every time we hear a story such as the Mukunds, is to
promise to live our lives – fully and make each day count; to never postpone
happiness and, in a very practical, selfish sense, never postpone family time.
And should the picture-postcard be disturbed – and it will be some day – learn from
Indhu to be happy despite the circumstances. There is
no other way to live, no other way to cope and certainly no other way to be
happy!
(PS: Let
us take a minute to humbly acknowledge the sacrifice of all the soldiers who
have laid down their lives for our nation. And let us pray for the well-being
of their precious families.)
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