Reflections on ‘Aashirwad’, Rajesh Khanna and the essence of the Bhagavad Gita

Everything is impermanent. Everything, including your own body, will soon perish.

The TOI story 

A story in the Times of India this morning on the demolition of Rajesh Khanna’s erstwhile bungalow, ‘Aashirwad’, on Mumbai’s tony Carter Road, got me to pause and reflect.

The property’s new owner is bringing down the bungalow to redevelop the estate and construct a new building. The bungalow is iconic for many reasons: Rajesh asked for an advance from noted Tamil producer Sandow Chinnappa Devar, which came in the form of Rs.5 Lakh in cash in a suitcase, for buying the bungalow from actor Rajendra Kumar; Devar in turn signed-up Rajesh for ‘Haathi Mere Saathi’ but Rajesh wanted the script re-written and entrusted the project to Salim-Javed; so, in effect, ‘Haathi Mere Saathi’ became the first film that the writer-duo got joint credit – and payment – for! The truth is that had Rajesh not wanted to buy that bungalow, he may not have done ‘Haathi Mere Saathi’ and had he not done the film, Salim-Javed would not be the legends they are today! The film ‘Haathi Mere Saathi’ also marked a critical, upward, inflection point in Rajesh Khanna’s rise to superstardom – the first in Bollywood!

‘Aashirwad’ was also home to many of Rajesh’s relationships – the more known among them being the one with Dimple Kapadia, who he also married; the one with Tina Munim; and, in his later years, the one with his live-in partner Anita Advani. It was on the terrace of this bungalow that, according to a close friend and film journalist Ali Peter John, Rajesh Khanna in a state of drunken stupor, envious and enraged over the aura of Amitabh Bachchan that had taken over the Hindi film industry, looked up at the sky and howled: “Oh God, why me?” So, ‘Aashirwad’ has seen a lot – it has seen success, superstardom, relationships, break-ups, failures and falls. Maybe many, many, more untold tales lay hidden within ‘Aashirwad’. But now ‘Aashirwad’ is gone. Reduced to dust. Just as the superstar who once proudly lived in it has since long been reduced to dust.

When I read the story of the bungalow’s demolition, it struck me that ‘Aashirwad’ was but a metaphor. All our stories will end up that way too – as dust! I remembered how, when our Firm’s fortunes came crashing down, and we had to close down and vacate our office, I physically shredded each of our key statements of intent – our Purpose, Vision and Values statements. It was a numbing, cathartic moment for me. This was a Firm that I had dreamt of becoming a global icon in the consulting space, this was a Firm that my wife and I had grown with love and passion, yet, it had been reduced to nothing – and as it lay defunct, lifeless, it, eerily so, appeared that I was performing its last rites that day in 2012.

As I sipped my filter coffee, and brought my attention back to the ‘Aashirwad’ story in today’s TOI, I reflected on the essence of the Bhagavad Gita:

Whatever happened, it happened well.

Whatever is happening, it is happening well.

Whatever will happen, it will also happen well.

What of yours did you lose?

Why or for what are you crying?

What did you bring with you, for you to lose it?

What did you create, for it to be wasted or destroyed?

Whatever you took, it was taken from here.

Whatever you gave, it was given from here.

Whatever is yours today, will belong to someone else tomorrow.

On another day, it will belong to yet another.

This change is the Law of the Universe.

I believe intelligent living is about pausing and imbibing this learning. Nothing belongs to us. Everything and everyone will be gone some day – including you and me! Clinging on to material possessions and stances and opinions is a total waste of energy and precious time. If we review our lives closely, deeply, we will find that all our insecurities and strife comes from whatever we are clinging on to. The moment you let go of whatever is possessing you, consuming you – a habit or a position or an object or a person or a relationship – you are liberated. You are free. It is only when you are free that you can experience Life – and its magic and beauty – fully!

Sab Kuch Likha Hua Hai

Everything in Life is interconnected with the other and everything happens for a reason!

I am reading a fascinating new book: “Written by Salim-Javed: The story of Hindi Cinema’s Greatest Screenwriters” (Penguin, Diptakirti Chaudhuri). It is the most thoroughly researched book on the lives of the famed writer-duo Salim Khan (father of Salman Khan, Arbaaz Khan and Sohail Khan) and Javed Akhtar (father of Zoya Akhtar and Farhan Akhtar). Between 1971 and 1987, Salim-Javed wrote 21 of the finest stories ever told in Hindi cinema – including Seeta Aur Geeta, Yadoon Ki Baraat, Zanjeer, Deewar, Sholay, Trishul, Don, Kaala Pathar, Shaan and Shakti. The book looks at the evolution of not just the Angry Young Man as a character, but also of Amitabh Bachchan, as a Superstar, who is considered Salim-Javed’s protégé.

Author Diptakirti Chaudhuri quotes Javed Akhtar in one of the chapters thus: “Life is strange. Sometimes if you look back, you feel like editing your Life, rewriting it. You want to change Scene 12 which is less pleasant, but the story is so well-knit, you realize Scene 32, which is the highlight of the story, will also have to vanish. It is not possible to retain Scene 32 because it has some connection with Scene 12.” Analyzing Akhtar’s quote and his lifetime’s work, Chaudhri writes: “What Javed said about his Life is also true for Salim-Javed’s scripts. Even in the weakest of their scripts, a Scene 32 would not have been possible without a Scene 12, in which it had its genesis. And it wasn’t only the links between the scenes….every motivation had a backstory.”

So it is true about each of our lives. Every motivation in your Life – and mine – has a backstory. Indeed. Everything has happened with a reason. For a reason. Everyone in your Life has come at the most appropriate time to serve that reason. The beauty – and pity – of Life is that you never know why something is happening when it is happening. Only when the event has past, only when you pause to reflect does the cosmic design become evident. As Steve Jobs (1955~2011) famously said, “You can only connect the dots backwards.” When you do connect those dots and recognize why you have gone through an experience, why you have met someone, you realize, as someone famously said, that Life’s Masterplan has (had) no flaws. And yes, as Javed Akhtar pointed out, you can’t go back and edit your Life!

Here’s a little exercise you may want to do. Take out an hour today. Sit back and think about your Life. Can’t you connect the dots today? Could you have connected them when an event was happening in your Life? Can your Scene 32 ever have been possible without your Scene 12? Didn’t person X, who you disliked so much, teach you the art of living, even as person C, who you met so very briefly teach you how to give selflessly? Doesn’t, when you look back, everything in your Life seem so well ordained, so well fitted in its own place – like a beautiful jigsaw puzzle?

Whether you review your Life with the poetic perspective of a Javed Akhtar, or whether you dissect it like the way Chaudhuri has analyzed some of the greatest stories told on screen, you will conclude that your Life too can be a movie script. There’s magic and beauty, miracle and tragedy, in your Life too. Except that your Life’s end, at the moment, is unpredictable. The climax of your story remains unknown to you even as you know that your story will end, certainly, with death. So while the end is certain, the road to get there remains uncertain. Yet, if you learn to deal with your Life, the way you will watch a movie – where you will get up and come away when the movie is over, with no attachment to the movie’s plot or the characters – you will forever be able to anchor in your inner peace.

This awareness that everything’s ordained, everything’s part of a larger plan which is beyond your control, does not mean you should not act. This is not a call to inaction. This only means that don’t fret and fume about the Life you have – or about the characters that inhabit your story. Just learn to appreciate and value everything, and everyone’s presence, in your Life. So act in every situation, but don’t get attached to the result. Do whatever you can and do it well. Just don’t complain if you don’t get what you want.

The key to intelligent living is to live with the total understanding that everything in Life happens for a reason, to complete your Life’s experience and learning. So, don’t be impatient with your Life. Go with flow. Because, as the classic line from Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara (Zoya Akhtar, 2011; Hrithik Roshan, Farhan Akhtar, Abhay Deol, Deepika Padukone), rendered by Arjun (Hrithik) on-screen in a Spanish bar, goes, “Sab Kuch Likha Hua Hai” – “Everything’s Written”!

Life = It is what it is

Life can be both an irony and a tragedy at times.  This isn’t the problem. Because such is Life’s nature. The problem arises when you don’t understand Life’s true nature and expect Life to be in a certain way – as you wish it to be!

Prasanna, A R Rahman and Vivek
Picture Courtesy: Internet

This morning’s papers carry the poignant story of Tamil comedian Vivek’s 14-year-old son Prasanna’s untimely death. The boy succumbed to suspected dengue and brain fever after 40 days in hospital. One of the papers pointed out the irony – Vivek has been an ambassador for the Tamil Nadu government’s dengue-prevention campaign! My auto-rickshaw driver amplified another angle to the irony: “Saar, Vivek made so many people laugh their guts out as a comedian. Poor guy, he is now having to cope with such a huge loss.” When I heard the news first, I remembered A.K.Hangal’s immortal dialogue (written by Salim-Javed) in Sholay (1975, Ramesh Sippy): “Jaante ho duniya mein sabse bada bhoj kya hota hai? – Baap ke kandhe pe bete ka janaaza!” It means: “The heaviest burden in Life is a child’s coffin on a parent’s shoulder”.

I am sure everyone today must be sending Vivek and his family a silent prayer and positive energy. Of course, beyond that none of us can do anything. The truth is, when our time comes, each of us has to deal with our own Life situations. This is perhaps why the famous Hindi poet, Harivansh Rai Bachchan (1907~2003), said this: “Jeevan ka matlab hai sangharsh”; “Life is a struggle, a challenge.” It doesn’t mean that Life is only full of pain and challenges. It means that you have to go through your share of challenges no matter who you are and no matter what you have done or not done, no matter whether you think you deserve it or don’t deserve it.

This is where the Buddha’s advice is very relevant. He said this: “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” Suffering is a human, self-inflicted condition. You suffer when you expect your Life to be any different from what it is, from the way it is. Someone dies and you feel the grief. That’s because your pain leads you to grief. And that is natural. But the moment you ask why should this person die or ask why should this person die now, then you have invited suffering into your Life. Who is going to answer your “whys”? Actually nobody has any answers. So, following any painful event or situation, only when you keep clinging on to the grief, do you suffer.

A friend, a retired Wing Commander from the Indian Air Force, who lost his grandson within a day of the child’s birth, had this to say: “Well, he came, he fulfilled his time on the planet and he went away. That was his design. We can’t do anything but accept his reality.” I agree completely with my friend’s outlook to Life. In fact, the simplest way to live Life is to be prepared for anything – and everything. And let us not ask the “whys”. Just take it as it comes. For it was what it was, it is what it is and it will always be what it will be.