Why do you insist on making your Life miserable?

If you are feeling miserable about something or someone, you are causing that misery in yourself.  

Whenever you feel miserable it is natural to blame the circumstances or the people that are causing you grief for all your misery. This only accentuates your suffering. Instead if you examine your feeling of misery closely, you will realize that whatever is upsetting you, whatever is making you sad and depressed, is just there. It is either an event or a person – and how and why they are there in your Life is beyond your control. The truth is they are there. And the other irrefutable truth is that they are causing you pain. You invite misery by wishing that they are not there in the first place. Now how can that be possible? Because they are already there. They have already arrived. Your wishing is not going to alter the reality of their presence!

This perspective is applicable in all situations. You have lost your job and you are trying hard but you are not getting another one. The job loss event has happened and the job search is presently futile – these are two events, two realities, that are causing you pain. Neither reality was or is in your control. But if you keep wishing why you lost your job, or why you can’t find another one, you will be miserable. It’s like asking why someone is dead, why someone is no more. What’s the point? Death happens. If there is birth, death will follow. So it is with all situations. Things just happen – and some of them end up bringing you pain. Or people around you behave insensitively causing you pain. Why things happen the way they do or why people behave the way they do – both are not in your control. Drop all expectations that your Life must conform to your wishes. Then there will just be pain, and you will not feel miserable.

Pain, in fact, is beautiful. It is always warning you that there’s something wrong with your Life. Now, when you hate the presence of pain, you feel miserable. In misery, you cannot think clearly because you are always wishing that your Life is different from what it is. Instead, if you drop all expectations and decide to simply deal with the pain, and whatever is causing you pain, you will not suffer. Make your efforts to eradicate the source of pain. But again without expectations that the pain will cease just because you have worked on it. Chances are it may cease. And chances are it may linger on. So, just make the effort and leave the result to Life. This is the principal message of the Bhagavad Gita too – do not worry about outcomes, just focus on the effort!

Remember this: whatever happens in Life, you cannot change any reality by merely wishing it away. Either you have to work on changing things and hopefully you will succeed. Or you are going to have to accept your Life for what it is. In either situation, misery and suffering are not what Life delivers to you. These are what you invite into your Life when you resist whatever you are faced with. Surely, feeling miserable is not something anyone can enjoy or live with. So, why do you insist on making your Life miserable in the first place?