Sometimes in Life people may choose
to consistently, continuously, systematically misunderstand, misinterpret and
not relate to you. When these relationships are with people that you are close to or
with immediate family, the situation gets confounded and it becomes very
difficult to accept the reality.
Our biggest grief is not that we are being
misunderstood but that close people, whom we imagined as our own, are the ones
misunderstanding us. Relax. You are not alone. It happens to all of us at some
time or the other in our lives. It has happened and continues to happen to me
too! I can relate to your sense of anguish if you have been in a similar
situation. You then try to redeem your image not with an external audience,
which still is a social or professional requirement and so is understandable if
it takes time or some machinations to be successful with, but within your
closed circle, where ideally you must be accepted for who you are and not for what
you are perceived as!
Don’t despair. Hear this story that a
spiritual thinker once told us.
There once was a blind man. And he lived in
difficult circumstances. His family did not quite appreciate his blindness.
They felt he was a blot on the family’s otherwise ‘happy and beautiful’
existence. One day, the God of Luck, arrived in front of the blind man. And
said to him, that he could ask any number of wishes that he wanted – and they
would be immediately granted. The blind man said he was humbled that the God of
Luck had visited him. He expressed his gratitude and said he had no wishes of his
own. The God of Luck insisted though that he ask something. The blind man said,
that while he didn’t want anything for himself, he did want the God of Luck to
grant whatever each of his family members wanted! The God of Luck was
perplexed. And wanted to know why this man did not want to avail of his
lottery. The man replied, “Sir, look at me. I have no wants. All my needs are
met. I have made peace with my blindness long, long ago. I am happy despite
being blind. It is my family members who grieve over my blindness. My sister
often says she is embarrassed that she has a blind brother. My mother thinks
that I am useless because I am blind. And so, each of them has a different
grief. And all of them grieve over my blindness. So, I ask that you too teach them
to be happy despite their circumstances. I have no image to protect or to
redeem. And I love the world I live in and can’t see. I am not sure I want to
see the world I live in and then discover that I don’t love it at all!”
Big lesson there for all of us who are
grieving, wishing, pining that people close to us understand us than
misunderstand us. Our grief drives us to trying several methods, often with no
avail, for rebuilding our credibility among those that have chosen to doubt our
integrity and suspect our intentions. The truth is they are not true to us. And
not the other way round. Because true friends, true family, will believe
despite evidence to the contrary. It is the flippant lot that will insist on
misunderstanding no matter what evidence you place, in your favor, before them! There’s no point shedding a tear for such people!
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