If there’s only one lesson in Life that you want to internalize, then
learn to simply move on!
Many unwelcome, painful,
unexpected things happen to us. Failure. Death. Separation. Job loss. Health
crisis. Socked by the impact of such events, we are numbed. Clueless on how to
cope with them. It seems almost impossible to continue to live at such times. We
sulk, grieve and mourn. But living in sorrow only makes us feel more miserable.
There’s hardly any value in
grieving. Yes, of course, grief makes you feel special __ temporarily. Because
people will come to you and bemoan your fate alongside you. You feel important,
like the star of your own tragedy show. But over time, people have their own
lives to catch up with. So, they will disperse. And then your grief will only
multiply, keeping your feet nailed to the ground. The best way to deal with the
unexpected when it happens is to allow yourself to be shocked, allow the first
wave of grief to arise, let it soak you in its depressive energy, but quickly,
very quickly, DECIDE to move on. This decision is crucial. And it comes from
awareness. Remind yourself that you came alone and with nothing. And you have
to go alone, again taking nothing with you. So, what’s all the fuss about losing__someone
or something? This realization will give your aching heart and mourning soul, a
much needed, awakening perspective. You may take a few weeks, or a few months,
a year, or maybe longer, but whenever you awaken to the truth that Life goes
on, and that you must too move on, you will find that feeling beautiful. It
will liberate you instantaneously from the throes of pain, grief and suffering!
Carnatic music lovers, and in
fact the entire Indian music fraternity, was shocked when popular Carnatic
vocalist Nithyashree Mahadevan, 40, lost her husband less than two months ago.
He committed suicide jumping off the Kotturpuram bridge, into the Adyar river,
in Chennai. The famous Chennai music season was on and Nithyashree was booked
to sing various concerts through most of December 2012.This sudden development
shocked everyone and most definitely Nithyashree. The pictures that appeared in
the media made everyone’s heart go out to her. They showed a forlorn, distraught
Nithyashree and most people, while sympathizing with her, wondered how she
would cope. But just this past weekend, Nithyashree was back on the concert
circuit. She was singing better than she had ever been. And, most importantly,
she was not in grief. She presented a picture of complete acceptance and inner
peace. The Times of India carried a picture of her singing at her latest concert.
The picture was captioned ‘Like A Song’. Indeed Life’s like a song. It has to
be sung, and sung well, no matter what’s going on! What she has done is truly
inspiring. She has shown all of us the way that we must continue to live our
lives, doing what we love doing, irrespective of what happens to us.
Each of us has a way to feeling
joyous, forgetting ourselves, our worries, our problems, our grief, when we engage
in doing something. It could be anything. For Nithyashree it is music and so
she plunged right back into it. For Chitra Visweswaran, it is dance. For Sachin
Tendulkar, it is cricket, which is why he got back to the World Cup schedule in
England a few years back, soon after cremating his dad in India. Karambir Kang,
the former GM of the Taj Hotel, who lost his wife and two kids to the terror
attack on his hotel on 26/11 (2008), immersed himself to rebuilding the hotel
and restored it to normalcy within a year of the attack. It’s not always that we
have to deal with death. Many kinds of setbacks happen and await us.
Irrespective of what happens, after the initial bout of depression, sorrow and
grief is gone through, take Life by its horns. Face it. Find something,
anything, that you love doing and just do it. Watch your feelings change. Remember,
what you feel, you become.
Simply, stop asking why things
happen the way they do in Life! Don’t ask why you were born and why death, or
for that matter anything, happens? Simply live the Life that’s coming your way.
If you don’t like what you see or get, don’t grieve endlessly. Conquer your
grief with awareness. Know that the truth about Life is that everything changes
over time. And that includes how you meet Life and live it! Learn to move on in
Life. You will then move into a state of perpetual bliss!
Excellent article
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