Between experiences and achieving
goals or buying things, choose experiences. At the end of your Life, those
experiences will matter most – both to you and to those you have had those
experiences with!
Last evening, while on our walk, we crossed
a young man walking with his two sons – one of them aged 6 and the other
possibly was 9. The father was ribbing his boys and the three were having a
good time laughing as they walked. I reflected back to the time, 15 years ago,
when my own children were of that age. And I could not recollect a time when I
had taken them on a walk like this. I was busy building my business and was chasing
a dream to create a global consulting Firm. So I worked 18 hour days. And I
worked on weekends too. If I was at home, I was either trying to relax watching
TV or was going over mails and reports from my team members from all over the
country. I remained available to my colleagues and my clients, 24 x 7, more
than I was ever available for my own family. So, I missed my kids’ annual days
and sports days at their school, on most occasions, though I never missed a
client’s board meeting or Annual General Meeting of shareowners. Not that I was
bad spouse or father. I tried to be the best provider but I guess I never made
myself available. The only time I did something like “create a memorable
experience” was when my son, then barely 17, suggested that he and I travel to
Rajasthan – he decided not to join my wife and daughter who were going to the
US to be with my wife’s sister who was having a baby. That four-day Rajasthan
trip, when we visited Jaipur and Ajmer, remains etched in my memory. The year
after that “father-and-son vacation” my son went away to pursue his undergrad education
in the US. And he comes home barely once in two years. As he builds his career
and grows his family, I guess we will be seeing him less frequently at home and
for shorter stays. Awakened by my learning of missing much of my son’s growing
up years, I made amends as my daughter went into high school and later to college.
Whenever she has the time, I make it a point to goof off with her or share and
learn from her. I have realized – ever since our Firm went bankrupt and we lost
all our money – that achieving goals and buying things are important and
relevant – but only momentarily. Our experiences create our memories. And the
more beautiful experiences we have to reflect on, to lean on, the more
fulfilled we will feel about the Life we have lived.
Earning money, buying a home, having a bank
balance, saving for retirement – all these and more are important. But they are
not more important than living your Life – everyday, fully, doing what you like
doing and doing what’s more meaningful to you and to those people who you call
your own! You are never going to be the same age again. With each passing
moment your Life is growing shorter. Remember - every moment that you are
living in drudgery or worry or insecurity, you are missing out on experiencing its
magic and beauty.
Do this exercise. Take your age and
multiply it by 365 to arrive at the number of days for which you have been
around on this planet. Ask yourself how many of those days have been memorable.
Now, if you start thinking, you have lost the game. You ought to be living each
day of your Life memorably. That’s why you have been created. If you believe
that your most memorable days have been only those when you vacationed or when
you celebrated birthdays and anniversaries, you have lost the plot. Completely.
But don’t despair. It is never too late. At least from now on concentrate on
experiencing your Life fully. Even if it is about work – choose to do only meaningful
stuff where you can enjoy yourself, create value and touch lives daily. And
never, ever, miss an opportunity to be with your family – never kid yourself
that you are working hard so your family can enjoy what you have created/provided
for them. If you don’t believe me ask your family – they will much rather have
you around than have all the things that you buy for them!
The most important point to remember in
Life is that our experiences create the memories that we will need to last the
evening of our lives. Let’s make sure that
those experiences give us joy, are meaningful and memorable.
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