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Monday, December 1, 2014

Drop all disappointments. Live free!

Live Life without regrets, without disappointments. When you live this way, you will see how magical and beautiful your Life is.

A friend invited me for a drink a few days ago. Along with him, at the bar, was his boss, Hemant. After the introductions were made, Hemant was keen to know what my Book, ‘Fall Like A Rose Petal – A father’s lessons on how to be happy and content without money’ (Westland, August 2014), was all about. So, I gave him a background and said that my Book’s message was really about accepting Life for what it is and learning to be happy despite the circumstances.

Hemant heard me out. He looked away for a while as we three sat silently at the table. He then picked up his glass, drank from it, leaned forward and asked me, “What is your biggest disappointment?”

I replied, instantaneously: “I have no disappointments.”

“But how can that be,” protested Hemant, “when you are in such a terrible financial state, when you have no money to cover even your living expenses, when you owe so much to so many people. How can you say you are not disappointed with Life?”

I smiled, and explained my perspective to Hemant and my friend. It is not that I had not felt disappointed before. It is not as though I don’t feel disappointed when our efforts to put our business back on track fail every single time that we try. But you learn, I told them, to not carry a disappointment in you when you realize its futility. What is a disappointment? Simple – an unfulfilled expectation is a disappointment. A lost opportunity is a disappointment. But Life does not bother whether you have an expectation or not. If you have an expectation from Life, and it goes unfulfilled, it is your problem. Life just goes on. Similarly, you got an opportunity, and if you blew it, it’s your problem. Life gave you that opportunity, you did not make use of it. Who is to blame? And what is the point in holding on to the blame, the guilt, the disappointment – the lost moment, the lost opportunity is never going to come back. So, why feel disappointed? In my case, there’s a lot of scope for disappointment – I need not have taken some business decisions that led to our Firm’s bankruptcy and to my family being pushed to the brink of penury; I ought to have saved money for our children’s future, when our business was doing very well, and when my wife used to implore me to do so. That time’s gone. Those questionable decisions were made. The opportunities were lost. Events happened and we are in the state we are in. What has happened is irreversible. What’s the point in being disappointed now about whatever has happened in the past?

Understanding and avoiding disappointments helps in any context in Life. A disappointment always brings grief and depression along with it. Together they make a debilitating cocktail of emotions that can hold you hostage forever. Instead of being a slave to these emotions, be free. Learn from your mistakes, your choices, your decisions and let go of all disappointments and guilt. Forgive yourself for what you did. Forgive others for what they have done. When you do this, you will feel phenomenally peaceful. When you anchor in this inner peace, you will experience the beauty and magic of each moment.

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