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Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Every loss is an opportunity to flow with Life!

When something or someone gets taken away from you, just accept the event as an opportunity to live without that something or person. The most remarkable quality about Life is that, no matter how you feel about your loss, Life simply goes on!  

This year opened with our “miracle” car breaking down! (Why I call it a “miracle” car is chronicled in my Book – ‘Fall Like A Rose Petal – A father’s lessons on how to be happy and content while living without money’; Westland, 2014.) The cost of fixing the car was far higher than the car’s value itself. Naturally, we sold the car. And obviously, given our financial state, we haven’t been able to buy another car. Then, our TV conked out. And then our 19-year-old (yes!!!) microwave too called it a day. We had been living without a washing machine for several months already, so suddenly, as I recalled to my wife, it seemed that we were the way when we were at the start of our careers. When we had none of the worldly assets that a household today necessarily needs – plus, we didn’t have work or money. As each of our basic necessities perished, we, as a family, adapted. None of us complained. None of us grieved. Yes, it was difficult. Whether it was having to wash clothes or heat food or simply not be able to put up your feet and watch TV. Without the car, we had to now deal everyday with the infamous auto-drivers of Chennai. But we just went on – knowing that this phase was something we all had to endure. Then, by the middle of the year, some friends stepped in and helped us replace our washing machine, microwave and TV. My smartphone too had crashed and another friend gifted me a spare phone he had. When I reflected on the year gone by, I couldn’t but marvel at the way Life works – Life just happens; things get taken away and yet, maybe you don’t get all that you want, but you do get whatever you need! Well, we still don’t have a car. But, seriously, we have learned to live without one!

Much of our insecurity about Life comes from our perceived inability to cope with loss. We imagine we cannot live without some things or some people. Yes, when we lose a thing or someone, that loss can be very painful. We will despair and grieve. But one way to deal with a loss is to ask yourself if you came into this world with this thing or person that you are grieving about. You came alone and empty-handed. And you will leave alone and empty-handed. Whatever you claim you own is what was given to you here. Your name, your qualifications, your experiences, your relationships, your money, your assets, your memories – all of them happened and are happening in this lifetime. And none of them can go with you when you depart from this planet. So, why fear losing someone or something, why grieve over the loss of someone or something, when you can’t take them away with you?

I have discovered that every loss is a beautiful opportunity to learn to live fully. This really means that every loss is an opportunity to trust Life more. To know that if you have been created, you will be provided for and looked after – no matter what happens to you. So, if you are faced with a loss, just accept your new reality and allow Life to take you forward. When you live this way, you will discover that Life simply goes on – and you too will learn to flow with it!     

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