Someone asked me: “Does it seem possible that we stop
relating to most people we know? The possibility makes one feel very guilty…”
I believe, as you evolve and grow in Life, it is indeed
possible that you stop relating to people that you once used to relate to completely.
But there’s no point in feeling guilty about this. It is simply the way of
Life!
What must be understood is that just as Life
keeps on changing, people too change. Not just in a physical sense, but
attitudinally, culturally, spiritually. You have changed, I have changed, since
we last took stock! As you grow richer with more years through this lifetime,
your experiences make you different. Sometimes, they make you bitter. But more
often than not, they make you better. Whether you get better or bitter with
Life, and living, you evolve. Your outlook to Life changes. You see Life more
clearly – and your view is shaped by your experiences. Over time, you
understand people at a very basic level – not based on their social standing or
their fame or their talent alone, but based on their motives and their values –
which causes them to behave the way they do! Please know that there is
absolutely nothing wrong with this change in you. It is as natural a
Life-engineered process as biological aging is. Why grieve then over something
unavoidable and natural? Why feel guilty?
It is a lack of understanding and appreciation
of this truism that wrecks many marriages and relationships. People who have
troubled relationships actually have a serious problem with relating to the
people in those relationships. Because they don’t realize this and don’t accept
this lack of relating as a natural aspect of personal evolution, they struggle
in those relationships. We tend to look at people who have had multiple
relationships or marriages with a certain disdain. But if you consider why they chose to opt out of those relationships, you will realize that they
are actually displaying a high level of maturity. They are accepting that they
are not relating to their partners or associates and are choosing to move on.
It is those who refuse to see or accept this reality of lack of relating who
suffer.
Guilt is a very debilitating emotion. It is
pointless to be guilty about anything. What is wrong if after knowing someone
for many, many years, you come to realize that you don’t enjoy their
companionship anymore? Why is it important to be “wedded” to relationships? Are
you relating to someone that you are in a relationship with is a more important
question to answer than how to save or protect or even nurture that
relationship. If you are not relating anymore, why punish yourself and the
other person by continuing to be together just to showcase the relationship
between you both? The relationship is dead already. It doesn’t make any difference
to the relationship whether or not you are there in it physically. Because you
have long dropped out at an emotional, soul level.
Review your Life and your relationships
seriously. Make intelligent choices on who you can relate to and who you can’t.
You don’t have to necessarily announce a severance of the relationships that
you don’t enjoy anymore, but you can decide not to engage in them going
forward. And definitely not at the cost of your inner peace. So, stop clinging on to what isn’t there anymore. Drop your
guilt. You will then be soaked in happiness!
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