Be what you want to
be. Do what you want to do. You will make mistakes along the way. You will
fall. But be sure, you’ll rise again. That’s what Life’s really all about!
It is that time of the year when most parents are
all keyed up about what academic program their young (almost adult) children
must pursue. With amazing consistency, most choices are made basis the “earning
potential” that careers promise. Very few parents actually let their children
choose what comes to them naturally and what they can do best. Sometimes,
children don’t know what they are good at. Or don’t know what they want to do.
Which is also totally fine. Life, despite all its unpredictability, still
offers a lot of time for people to decide what they want to do and then
actually allows them the time to go do it too! To agonize over the (perceived) “indecisiveness”
of a teenager, in my humble opinion, is neither appropriate nor is it sensible!
My experience as a young adult who had to fight
for doing what I wanted to do and as a parent who has allowed his two children
to do whatever gives them joy has taught me some simple lessons.
1. However much you plan, Life has a way of taking
you to where you must arrive. And that destination may not have even been on
your radar or in your wildest dreams!
2.
There’s nothing called a zero-defect career or
even a perfect career. Everyone makes mistakes. S@#T Happens!
3.
Having money and job security doesn’t
necessarily mean you will have fun doing what you do and enjoy Life!
So, the best way to approach your career is to
ask yourself:
i. What am
I extremely good at?
ii. What do
I love doing? What comes naturally to me?
iii. How can
I create value and make a difference, doing what I (will) do, every single day?
Even as you answer those questions honestly and
then choose to follow your dream, be open to the surprises that Life may throw
up. It may be a breakthrough or it may be an unprecedented challenge. Go wherever
Life’s taking you and go with whatever comes you way. There’s only one thing
you can really control in your Life. And that is, getting better, every single
day, at doing what you love doing! In the last scene of the iconic movie 3 Idiots (2009, Rajkumar Hirani), the
narrator’s voice over quotes “Baba” Ranchhoddas (Aamir Khan) as saying: “Kabil Bano, Kabil. Kamyiabi Phir Jhak Marke
Tumhare Piche Ayegi”. It means: “Strive to become capable or skilled (actually
the best) in whatever you do. Success will then come, chasing after you.” The
movie’s message is inspiring. Unfortunately, too few parents have internalized
it. And fewer still have had the courage to let their children do what they
want to do.
What inhibits parents is a sense of insecurity,
a “what if” fear, an overzealousness to protect their children. Naturally, if
you are a parent who has overcome challenges to be where you are today (in
fact, who hasn’t been through tough times?), you don’t want your children to
face the same situations and hardships. So, you begin with advising career
choices but soon start directing and managing your kids’ careers. Children, on
the other hand, respond in two ways. Either they rebel – like the way I did or
they just do what the parents advise them to do, out of “respect” for them.
Parents and children both must understand one
thing – that each Life is unique. There is no template to Life. Each of us is
entitled to our share of experiments, adventures, mistakes and genius. The best
way to live then is to live loving what we do. Then everything, in the end,
always falls in place!
I was very impressed listening to a song by the
young Swedish pop singer Darin Zanyar. The lyrics went somewhat like this ~
“Doctor, Actor, Lawyer or a Singer,
Why not President, be a dreamer,
You can be just the one you wanna be…
You never know what Life could bring,
‘Cause nothing lasts forever…”
Darin’s all of 26 and to imagine he sang this simple
yet meaningful song (‘Darin’, 2005) when
he was barely 17! That’s what’s really possible when parents don’t rein in
their kids’ latent talent!
If you are a parent reading this, you may want
to drop your inhibitions and insecurities. Go listen to your children, understand
what they are deeply passionate about and then trust them to go follow their
dreams. If you are a young adult reading this, know
that it’s cool to be yourself. So, go be that person you want to be! The world
needs people like you – who are alive, happening and happy!
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