Disclaimer 1: The author, AVIS, does not claim that he is the be-all, know-all and end-all of all that he shares based on experiences and learnings. AVIS has nothing against or for any religion. If the reader has a learning to share, most welcome. If the reader has a bone to pick or presents a view, which may affect the sentiments of other followers/readers, then this Page’s administrators may have to regrettably delete such a comment and even block such a follower. Disclaimer 2: No Thought expressed here is original though the experience of the learning shared may be unique. AVIS has little interest in either infringing upon or claiming copyright of any material published on this Page. The images/videos used on this Page/Post are purely for illustrative purposes. They belong to their original owners/creators. The author does not intend profiting from them nor is there any covert claim to copyright any of them.

Sunday, March 2, 2014

Getting to the “un-frustrated” state of mind

Ultimately, you cause your own frustrations.

Whatever reasons you find to justify as to what or who created a situation that makes you feel frustrated, in the end, the buck stops with you. And unless you decide not to feel frustrated with your situation anymore, you will feel no better. Whether you invited it upon yourself or whether it was forced on you is immaterial.

Whenever I have used an auto-rickshaw, especially in Chennai, I have reasons to be frustrated. I am sure you have had similar experiences. The drivers are normally reckless, they don’t follow traffic rules, they speak on their phones while driving and are almost always argumentative over the fares. In the past, I used to often get into principle-based duels with auto drivers. Each encounter would leave me drained and exasperated. I would carry my rage from the experience on the road through the day and, at many times, back home too. When I saw a pattern to my irritable behavior, I discovered that an argument with auto-drivers always played havoc with my moods. So, for a long, long period of time, I simply avoided using auto-rickshaws. But, owing to my car breaking down, and me being car-less for now, I have had to rely on auto-rickshaws largely. Even now, there are many challenges and provocations in dealing with auto-drivers daily. But I realize how much better my response to each situation is now because I choose not to react to any of them – and therefore I do not get frustrated with them anymore.  

There's no magic way to deal with everyday frustrations. Everyone struggles. Including me. But one way, that often helps snap out of series of frustrating thoughts that torment me when things go wrong, is to ask myself, "What could I have done to avoid feeling frustrated?". As you can see, this question is not directed at taking on the blame for the situation nor is it a solution per se to the problem on hand. It is only focused on the aspect of how you are feeling at the moment. Which is, you are frustrated. Period. So, how do you deal with that feeling? When you go to the root of that feeling, you will find that you could have responded differently to the situation which would have at least prevented you from feeling frustrated, helpless, despondent. Asking this question, again and again, each time that you feel frustrated, you learn the art of “non-frustration”. Over time, you develop an attitude of tolerance and acceptance in any situation.

When you are in an un-frustrated state of mind, you begin to think more clearly, more rationally and start addressing the problem on hand from a solution point of view rather than feeling frustrated about it!

No comments:

Post a Comment