To feel Life, to live, we
must stop feeling like a victim.
The more you dwell on what we don’t have,
the more we will wallow in the cesspool of scarcity. Break free. The easiest
way to think is that there is a conspiracy against us. Because it comes easy,
this theory of victimization, we prefer being a victim, chained to imaginary
circumstances, beliefs, even superstitions and, over a period of time, we
actually begin to enjoy the suffering. In some ways, we are no better than the
camels grazing in a desert. They feed on cacti and eat the thorns as well.
Despite their mouths and tongues being constructed differently__strongly__at
times, because of constant chewing of the sharp thorns, they start bleeding
because the thorns have cut the skin inside their mouths. The thorns, mixed
with fresh blood, create a ‘special’ taste for the camel and it starts enjoying
‘thorn-eating’! Our choosing to remain victims is no different. It is subconscious.
While we bemoan our fate and lament our circumstance, in a way, as the
McDonald’s ad goes, “we are lovin’ it”.
To arrest this self-proclaimed
victimization theory, we must step up to the window, throw it open, and feel
Life. Just as the fresh gust of wind from an open window will caress us, so
will Life. Life is waiting for you to come seeking. But victims are not
welcome. Life wants heroes__battle weary alright, but not grumpy, cribbing sort
of folks. According to most dictionaries, a victim is "one who is harmed
by or made to suffer from an act, circumstance, agency, or condition". To
stop feeling like a victim, be aware of what makes you sulk, suffer, grieve.
When you analyze Life, many things, right from an insult from a colleague or
family member to the scary feeling that your Life is going nowhere, are all
signs of feeling like a victim. You are also a victim when you generally say:
“All phone companies are milking their customers while providing lousy
service.” Or “Our politicians will never pass a sensible legislation in the
interest of the common people.” Or “I need more infrastructure and empowerment
to do what I am doing at work.” You are a victim when you are judging a
situation and thinking that something outside of you, an event,
person or circumstance, is causing you grief and agony. Indeed, many, many of
us feel victimized by the government, by the bureaucracy, by the condition of
our roads, by the way we are brought up or by the way our employers manage our
careers. For this feeling to go, you must let go of that ‘agent, circumstance
or condition of pain’.
We met a friend, whose spouse asked him to
leave their home over a fight. She then sold the property that was in her name,
gifted by him on her birthday a few years back, and moved to another city with
their young daughter. He says he was devastated. He confesses that for the
first year after this happened, he felt betrayed, cheated and discarded like a
‘paper tissue’. “She used me and threw me away,” he recounts, continuing, “I
was so hurt. But then I asked myself, why not look at it as I have been helpful
to her. I have let her go. I have given her this property. And if she’s happy,
why shouldn’t I not be happy seeing her happy? That day, I decided that I can choose
not to be the victim.” Big learning there. You__and I__too have a choice: which
is, not to be victims. For this, first, we must snap out of this subconscious
bleeding-camel-enjoying-thorns mode. Stopping to be a
victim means stopping to blame someone else and taking charge of your Life with
an inner and absolute sense of responsibility.
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