You cannot enjoy Life
when you are continuously feeling guilty. Almost all the time, we are making
decisions in Life. Some of them work well. Several blow up in our faces. If we
start feeling guilty for those decisions that misfired, we will be stuck in the
past. When you are not present in the now, in the moment, how can you enjoy it?
Of course, guilt cannot
be avoided totally. It has to only be faced, and overcome, with awareness. Every
time something does not go per your design, or expectation, you are bound to
feel responsible, and accountable, for the outcome. So, you cannot but feel
guilty. But if you are aware that guilt is debilitating, that it is a wasted
emotion, that traps you in the past, you will successfully overcome it!
First, however, try and understand
why you feel guilty. We human beings have this notion, both through our education
and upbringing, that we are in control of our lives. So, when things don’t go according
to what you envisioned them to be, you hold yourself responsible. In a very
subconscious, yet sure, way, your guilt is always a manifestation of your ego! “I
should have been better prepared”, “I should have thought through this better”,
“I
should have planned for a worst case scenario”, “I should have not taken
this decision or made this move”…these and more emotions are bound to gnaw at
you from within. But do you recognize the existence of the big “I”
in each of them? That’s your ego screaming out aloud! Your guilt is the shadow
of your ego – it goes on vainly reminding you that you are all powerful and now
that your power did not work in the current context, you have failed yourself,
you should now brood over your action! You should, therefore, wallow in
self-pity and guilt!
But remember your awareness
is far more powerful. When you attain a state of self-realization, where you
understand that nothing is being done in Life, in the Universe, by anyone, that
Life is happening on its own, your guilt disappears. This is not escapist
thinking. This is the truth. Whatever has happened, was bound to happen, even
if you were to murder someone! If it could have been avoided, it would have not
have happened. Being trapped in your guilt and by brooding, nothing is going to
be achieved. If anything, you will be dead, because you are not living in the
present anymore, even if you are biologically alive! In the Hindi movie Raanjhaana (2013, Aanand L Rai), Kundan,
played masterfully by Dhanush, sits on the banks of the Ganges brooding over
the death of Jasmeet (Abhay Deol in a cameo), which had been caused by
circumstances triggered by Kundan. An anonymous man with a camera confronts Kundan
and says: “You
look like you have murdered someone. Your face says it all. No religion can
grant you forgiveness for taking the Life of another human being. So, no point
in feeling guilty over what you did and what has happened. You are not going to
attain salvation sitting like this by the Ganges. So, get up, go, go do
something about your Life and make things better by living your Life fully,
meaningfully!” Kundan gets the message
and takes charge of his Life the best way he can! What the film’s nameless character
told Kundan applies to you and me too. There’s no point drowning yourself in
guilt over anything – the best you can do is to try not to repeat the same
action, pattern, decision, whatever that misfired, again. That’s all!
The moment you let your
guilt get the better of you, you are as good as dead. You, me, we all, are but
small cogs in the big wheel of an inscrutable cosmic design called Life. And
Life happens, not because of you or me, but inspite of us. When this awareness
dawns and remains in you, you will see each guilt-forming moment as an
opportunity to learn, and unlearn, and keep moving on.
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