Nobody likes being sad. We all hate it. So,
the more we hate it, the more it haunts us. Yet as much as we hate it, we find
a strange comfort in being sad.
Face it. It is easier being sad than being
happy. Happiness requires a lot of work __ a lot of overcoming is to be done.
Whereas sadness comes naturally. Every time something doesn’t go to plan, all
you have to do is to be grumpy, feel sad and brood.
You may want to consider a different
perspective though: the moment you understand sadness, you will
find bliss! It is as simple
as it sounds. But getting there, understanding, isn’t easy.
You feel sad when what you want isn’t there.
But since sadness isn’t your natural state (in fact, happiness is!), your
entire being resists your being sad. The mind feeds on misery. So, it tells you
to fight sadness. It selfishly urges to fight for something which isn’t there,
which is causing your sadness. The mind wants you to be sad because it needs
fodder. It needs you to be sad for it to thrive! Think about it. When you are
happy, you are actually mindless. Which is why, when someone is in a state of
rapturous delight, we believe he or she has gone crazy, or has ‘lost his or her
mind’. True happiness, bliss, is a state of ‘mindlessness’. So, if you are sad,
it means your mind is in control. On the contrary, you can be happy only when
you are in control of your mind! Understand that you cannot overcome your
sadness by fighting it. You can overcome it only by tricking your mind. So,
when you are sad, don’t resist it in future. Accept it. Accept the condition
which is causing it too. In acceptance, there is no resistance. What you don’t
resist, does not persist. So your sadness, through acceptance, transforms into
a new, peaceful state of being. That state, simply, is your bliss.
Yesterday, we received a mail from a family
friend who had lost her husband to lung cancer barely a week ago. She thanked
us all for our prayers and offered to be at a memorial service that some of us
were organizing later this week. In her mail, she wrote: “Thank you very much for helping me to keep
everyone updated all through his illness and I know it is with great sadness
but unanimous relief that he is finally at peace. I am still in limbo! Every
morning I decide to ‘tidy up’ some of the things lying around, the nebulizer,
all the tubes and masks, medicines boxes, cotton wool....still haven’t
succeeded. I see his toothbrush and toothpaste in the bathroom and I feel if I
remove it from there it’s like trying to wipe out memories.... so I don’t! I
wish words like ‘dust to dust and ashes to ashes’ didn’t represent the finality
of death so accurately....”
This is what acceptance of your sadness is
all about. In this friend’s case, it was the death of a companion. In someone
else’s case it could be a separation. Or a pink slip. Or, as my daughter shared
an inspirational story of her senior at college this morning, the loss of
mobility, and a semester, owing to a ghastly accident. Whatever be the causes
for our sadness, unless we come to terms with it, both the cause and the
effect, we cannot move on, we cannot overcome. But the moment we accept, we
will encounter inner peace and be (in) bliss.
As the legendary Sahir Ludhianvi (1921~1980)
memorably wrote for Guru Dutt’s all-time classic ‘Pyaasa’ (Thirsty, 1957), in the song, ‘Jaane Woh Kaise Log Thay Jinko…’, “….gham se ab ghabraana kya…gham sau baar mila…” The lyrics mean, “what’s
the point in worrying about sadness and sorrow…we keep getting them (again and
again) so many hundred times (in Life) in any case…”. Be clear and get this
straight! The number of times your expectations will not be met in this
lifetime will far outnumber the times they will be. So, theoretically, you will
end up being sad, than happy, for much longer in your Life than you can
possibly imagine. Do you really want to spend the rest of your Life being sad
and sorrowful for circumstances that, well, are beyond your control? Isn’t it,
therefore, better you embrace this simple, practical way to bliss?
Make peace with what saddens you today. And
through understanding your sadness, find your bliss!
No comments:
Post a Comment