Only when you empty yourself of
your ego will you understand the essence of intelligent living!
Unknown to us we__you, me, everyone__carry
a rather unnecessary sense of self-importance than we normally should or even
need. Self-importance is different from self-respect or self-esteem.
Self-importance means you think your Life is being controlled by you! The more
self-importance you perceive of yourself, the lesser you will be closer to
realizing your true Self and the angrier you will be with Life and with people
around you!
Several years ago, things were
going horribly wrong for me at work. My team was playing truant. People were
quitting. They were sharing information with competitors. And there was a whole
deal of negative energy flying around. The final nail in the coffin was when
one member of my team, an office assistant, filed a police compliant against me
for non-payment of a statutory due. It was an ignominious moment. We had, as a
Firm, picked up that kid literally from the street. We had supported his education
helping him acquire a degree in Commerce and an MBA in Marketing through
distant learning programs. I was heart-broken when he did what he did. For one
there was no truth in his complaint. Second, HE had done that to ME! Over a
drink, I shared my grief with a very dear friend, whom I will call Guruji!
“You know how much I have done for
this boy,” I lamented. And continued: “I have helped him financially when his mother
was in hospital and later when she died. I have bought him clothes every
quarter. I have paid for his exam fees and his tuitions. I have enrolled him to
a computer training Program and helped him become tech savvy. And he still did
this to me?”
Guruji smiled back at me calmly and
asked, “Are you finished with your tale of woe, AVIS?”
“Are you finding something funny
with my plight,” I shot back, quizzically.
“Indeed. I find it funny that you
think your team is the problem. To me you are the problem!”, said Guruji, in a
tone which was both peaceful and rude-sounding to me!
“What are you saying? I have been a
good employer. I have led with care and compassion. I have uplifted the lot of
my team. I have provided them with rewards, recognition and opportunity. And
you say I am the problem?” I roared.
“Just count the number of times you
have used ‘I’ in this conversation AVIS. You are so full of yourself. Empty
yourself of the ‘I’ in you. Be humble and you will grow and glow!” said Guruji.
It was like a ton of bricks had
fallen on me. I was devastated. But over several days and weeks of
introspection and rumination I understood what Guruji meant. This old Zen
story, which he sent me on the mail, further helped me.
A Cup of Tea
Nan-in, a Japanese master during the
Meiji era (1868-1912), received a university professor who came to inquire
about Zen.
Nan-in served tea. He poured his
visitor's cup full, and then kept on pouring.
The professor watched the overflow
until he no longer could restrain himself. "It is overfull. No more will
go in!"
"Like this cup," Nan-in
said, "you are full of your own opinions and speculations. How can I show
you Zen unless you first empty your cup?"
Having understood the essence of and
discovered the power of intelligent living, I went on to empty my cup. But the
interesting thing is, when you empty it, doesn’t stay empty. You have to keep
on emptying it. It is a continuous process.
Each time someone slights you, each
time someone rubs you the wrong way, you mind will tell you “How dare he or
she?”. Immediately, remember Guruji, remember Nan-in and empty your cup. When
things are not going according to your plan, and you are getting angry,
irritable, disturbed and your inner peace is destroyed, empty your cup.
The more you stay empty, the more
grace it will attract. Because Life can only fill an empty cup with abundance.
How can a cup that is full attract any grace or abundance?
The simplest way to live is to know
that your cup must be empty and to remember that Life goes on, in spite of you
and not because of you!
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