Nothing about your Life is going to
change unless it does. Life is what it is. Feeling negative about it is never
worth your while.
Someone asked me the other day if it is possible to not
feel negative about Life at times. Of course it is possible. Yet, don’t expect
negative thoughts not to rise. They will. Such is the nature
of thoughts. They will always keep swimming in your mind. But you can develop
the ability to recognize and rid yourself of negative emotions as they rear
their ugly head. This calls for being both aware and honest.
Be aware first of the futility of negative
thinking. Can you solve any problem by brooding over the fact that you don’t
have a solution in sight? And is there any point in brooding over a problem
that you cannot solve? Even so, negative thinking will insist – and ensure –
that you brood. This is where awareness comes into play. It is simple – if you
are aware, if you observe your thinking, you will not heed the negative
thoughts that will arise in you. And what you don’t heed, what you don’t give
attention to, doesn’t grow. Period.
Take self-pity and jealousy for instance. When you
compare yourself with others, naturally, you are bound to pine for what you
don't have and feel jealous, often subconsciously, of what someone else has.
Neither of these emotions is constructive. Self-pity keeps your feet nailed to
the ground and jealousy fills you with negativity. This when you must be brutally
honest. Ask yourself: What are you pining
for? And who are you jealous of? Continue this train of awareness-based
questioning: Is what you are pining for
really so critical for your Life? Can you not manage without it? And is feeling
jealous of someone going to make you get what you are pining for? These
questions can have an awakening effect. You will be amazed at your own ability
to realize that these emotions are wasted, unproductive and are shackling you.
Out of that ruthless honesty will emerge the simple clarity that you are who
you are. Unique. And what you have is all that you have. You will awaken to the
reality that pining and brooding is not going to make you, or your situation,
any different.
Employ awareness
and honesty to simplify your Life. Being positive about Life may not solve your
problems. But it will at least make you smile. As a line I often quote,
ostensibly from the Guru Granth Sahib,
goes: “Taqdeer teri apne aap hi badlegi
aye dost; muskurana seekh le, wajah ki talaash na kar!” It means: “Your Life will change when it must, my friend…Learn to smile
(in the meantime), without looking for a reason!”
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