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Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Acceptance is always complete only when you accept ‘whatever is’

When sadness arises in you don’t repress it. Just feel the sadness – deeply, intensely, genuinely. This way it will dissolve into inner peace.  

Feeling sad is a natural expression. It happens to everyone. No one can escape feeling sad in certain situations – when things have not gone your way or when you have not got what you wanted or when you have lost someone or something that you loved with all your heart. But sadness is also a debilitating emotion. No one likes being sad. It wears you down. So you start hating being sad. And you become sadder. Soon you are more sad that you are sad than being sad for the initial cause of your sadness. Remember, when you resist anything – including sadness – it persists. It lingers on. So, the way to deal with sadness is to feel it. Give it all the attention that it seeks. You will then see it make way for a rare sense of peace within you.

Someone we know is dealing with a painful separation with her spouse. Their’s was a dream relationship. They came from different backgrounds and different communities. But both of them were so beautiful together – everyone felt they were ‘made for each other’. They made the right adjustments and got married. They soon had a child. Now, they find themselves drifting apart. And this is obviously coming as a shock to everyone who know them. The lady is sad with the turn of events – naturally! And she’s been hating the feeling.

She asked me if acceptance means even accepting something that “you hate”. I explained to her: “Acceptance is always complete only when you accept whatever is. So, if you are feeling sad, accept the sadness.”

“But sadness is so boring, dreary and makes me feel heavy,” she protested.

“Good. That’s the time when you must employ this awakening, this realization, that is born in you and release the sadness. Just let it go,” I advised.

When you let the sadness go, when you don’t battle it, it makes way for inner peace. Osho, the Master, goes beyond merely suggesting that we accept a feeling like sadness, and advises that we must “befriend” whatever we are feeling so that we anchor in inner peace.

This applies to all feelings and all contexts in Life. Whenever some feeling arises in you, don’t try to escape. Go the full nine yards – feel it, experience it, feel the pain, the sadness, even the initial suffering, accept it, befriend it as Osho says, and then let it go. Without hating it or condemning it. The happiness that arises within you after you let that feeling go is what will cleanse you and give you closure. Then, and only then, will you be peaceful – and be able to move on and live happily!

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