The easiest response to Life, when things don’t go well,
is to turn grumpy and be depressed. But feeling that way is not going to get
you anywhere. The only way to respond to Life is to say “YES” to it – no matter
what your circumstances may be!
I was thinking about a couple, close friends of
our family, last evening. Their first born, a boy, would be 17 now. They live
in Singapore. The boy was afflicted by muscular dystrophy (MD) – a progressively
degenerative muscular disorder – when he was barely a few months old. In the
case of the boy the disease is severe and for all the complications that come
with the condition, he has very little time left. Even so, the couple are the
most positive people you can ever meet. They are happy looking after their
child and supporting him to live as normal a Life as is possible in these
conditions. The wife once told me, “It seemed impossible to accept the reality
when the doctors shared the news with us. I don’t think any parent can deal
with such a prognosis with regard to his or her child. But over time, I noticed
that despite what his limitations were, our boy wanted to do things that all
children do. That’s when my husband and I resolved that we are not going to
mourn our fate. We are going to live our Life, with our child, helping him live
fully too – as long as he can.” I have never seen this couple grieve over their
child’s condition. They have always been happy – despite all the challenges
that come with raising a child having MD.
The immediate response to Life’s challenges is
a big “NO”. But saying “NO” to Life is pointless. Because it changes nothing. Viktor
Frankl, an Austrian psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor, in his profound book
(published in 1946) “Man’s Search for Meaning” writes, “When a man
finds that it is his destiny to suffer, he will have to accept his suffering as
his task; his single and unique task. He will have to acknowledge the fact that
even in suffering he is unique and alone in the Universe. No one can relieve
him of his suffering or suffer in his place. His unique opportunity lies in the
way in which he bears his burden.” What Frankl says is true. Wishing away Life’s
realities, pining that your Life be different or mourning your circumstances
get you nowhere. It is always what it is. So, when you are suffering – and you
realize that just as no one can alleviate your suffering but you, suffering in
a situation cannot change it either – you learn to accept your Life for the way
it is. Through such acceptance you seize the opportunity to be happy! That’s what saying “YES” to Life is all about!
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