‘The Happiness Road’ is a weekly Series on this Blog that
appears on Sundays where I share my conversations with people while exploring
their idea of happiness!
This Sunday it’s a blessing to be featuring Manohar Devadoss,
Chennai’s iconic artist, author and story-teller!!
Being Manohar Devadoss is not easy.
He’s 79 now. And blind.
 |
| Manohar & Mahema Devadoss at their Wedding December 30, 1963 Photo Courtesy: Manohar Devadoss |
He was married to his love Mahema for 45 years. She
passed away in 2008. Of these 45 years, Mahema was a quadriplegic – devastated by
an accident in December 1972 – for 35 years. And Mano, who began to have progressive,
degenerative eyesight around then – leading eventually to total blindness –
cared for Mahema for all those 35 years. If Shahjahan built
the Taj Mahal for his beloved, Mano ensured – though his love for her, his
compassion, his practical thinking, his toiling – that Mahema lived through
those 35 years, unable to use her limbs, without a single bedsore! He also anchored himself to stay strong, alongside
Mahema, as they raised their beautiful daughter Sujatha in the midst of their individual,
physically debilitating, conditions.
 |
| Temple Chariot by Manohar Devadoss |
 |
| Manohar & Mahema Devadoss "A Quiet Courage" Photo Courtesy: Manohar Devadoss |
Despite such a challenged Life, spanning over 50
years, Mano has immersed himself in his art – he has drawn sketches of several
temples and chronicled the architecture of his favorite city Madurai; his ink
drawings on a heritage series of greeting cards are still a huge draw! And he has
written books – two on Madurai and several oh Mahema. Most important, he has
always been not just resilient, but has been – and is – happy. You will never
find Mano “moping and mourning”. You will only find him smiling beneath his
thick moustache, from ear to ear, as he gives you his fullest attention, even while
not being able to see you.
Which is why I say, being Manohar Devadoss is not
easy.
I ask him how he makes a lifetime’s hard work of
accepting and living with adversity so easy – so inspiring.
He replies, “I am not sure my Life is inspiring. I
have never tried to be inspiring. I have only tried to live with the way my
Life has been. Perhaps, I have this natural flair to laugh at things that
normally make you sad. Bringing in humor is a wonderful way to cope with a tough
situation. Laughing at yourself and Life helps.”
 |
| Manohar & Mahema Devadoss Photo Courtesy: Manohar Devadoss |
Sure. One should learn laughing at oneself from
Mano! On their 36th wedding anniversary, on December 27th,
1999, Mano gifted Mahema and himself a pair of rusted dumbbells. When Mahema
looked on quizzically, Mano said, “You weigh like a sack of potatoes. My back
is giving up. In order to lift and move you several times in a day, I need to
strengthen my biceps. So, I thought this would be the best gift for us.” He
recalls Mahema laughing unstoppably! But Mano went to work on his biceps –
working over 700 lifts of the 12.5 kilo dumbbells daily! Result: during the
next 9 years that Mahema was alive, Mano never had a back problem!! He says, “Here
was a situation. Mahema was unable to move. I was unable to see. But I needed
to make sure she was moved around painlessly. I was past 60 – not exactly young
– and with a back condition. I had to think practically. I had to find a
creative way to stay fit. Besides, working out is a happier way of dealing with
a challenge than complaining about a bad back!” “In fact, later on, I would remark to Mahema
that she wasn’t weighing like a sack of potatoes anymore, she weighed just as
much as a basket of flowers would!” he adds, laughing heartily.
 |
| Manohar Devadoss Photo by Vaani Anand |
It’s hard for me to describe what I feel for the
man in front of me. He’s personally tossed up a special salad – with lettuce
and walnuts in a fresh home-made mayo dressing – that he calls “Tulsania”. He’s
gone to the grocer’s in the morning to shop for the salad. He insists that his
helper at home whips up an apple milk shake – “with very little added sugar” –
for Vaani and me. Looking at the way he is, the way he cares for you, the way
he goes about his Life, you can’t say this man’s been through so much. He’s
seen so much pain, so much stress, so much constraint, all through his Life.
And yet he has the ability to laugh? So truly, genuinely, happily? I conclude
that I don’t feel sorry for him. I feel love. I feel compassion.
 |
| The Tulsiana that Mano tossed up Photo by AVIS Viswanathan |
His daughter Sujatha lives with her husband and
children – he is an American diplomat and so is always serving in another part
of the world. Mano lives alone in their Santhome home in Chennai. Vaani is
curious to know how Mano copes on a daily basis – now that Mahema is not with
him anymore. Mano replies, “It was difficult. But then I feel Mahema’s
presence. She is always there with me. I work on the endowments we set up to
keep her memory alive, I write books celebrating her Life, I create art which
sells and the proceeds go to support causes. You know, when Life has a Purpose,
it is easy to deal with Life. Mahema taught me this. I live by this principle
to keep myself going, happy and living in the moment.”
Any fears, any insecurities? “Honestly, I try not
to think of the future. Yes, but surely I don’t wish I have a paralytic stroke
or something, especially at my age, with my eyesight being nil, I don’t want to
cause any problems for people around me. I live each day as it comes. Ask me
about today and I can tell you how I am feeling, how I am coping. But I can
never say anything about tomorrow, nobody can.”
Mano’s Life is not just inspiring. It is awe-inspiring.
You will not find Mano philosophical. You will not find him preachy. You will
not find him extra-ordinary. You will not find him depressed – never. He’s the
perfect embodiment of Zen which teaches us to live Life simply accepting what
is – “when hungry eat, when tired sleep”.
That’s why I say, being Manohar Devadoss is not
easy. But through the way he has lived his Life he shows us that being happy is
easy. Mano’s secret
of happiness could possibly be this – accept the situation, think practically,
be creative and laugh – at Life, at your situation and at yourself!
Listen more about Mano and Mahema Devadoss’
beautiful Life in this audiobook, “A Quiet Courage”, by Charkha Books here - http://www.flipkart.com/quiet-courage-english/p/itmddg38um4zra4g
One
of Mano’s books on Madurai is available here: http://www.amazon.com/Multiple-Facets-Madurai-Manohar-Devadoss/dp/8188661627
Wow what a story .thank you avis for sharing manohars story.this story made my day
ReplyDeleteThank god when ever I feel low I get something like this to boost me up
ReplyDelete