A young man I met over the weekend asked me what he
should do about other people’s
views/opinions of him.
“I am constantly wondering about what others are thinking
of me. I don’t agree with many things that are going on around me – in my
family, among my colleagues at work, in society. But I never say anything
because I don’t know how my views will be received,” he said.
I asked him if he was happy living the Life that he was
living – suppressing his opinions and always wary of how he was being
perceived.
“Of course I am not happy. I am gritting my teeth when
things that I don’t agree with happen and am often angry with myself,” he
confessed.
I told him that he must stop worrying about what others
think of him. The moment you try to please others you have lost the game of
Life. The ego thrives on others’ opinions of you. But the real you, your being,
needs no such crutch. It can stand on its own. The person whose ego needs
others’ opinion to stand up will always be compromising. And any compromise,
whatsoever, in any circumstance, is always against your real state, your “being”.
When you compromise, you have allowed your true self to be affected. This is
what makes you unhappy.
The other way of looking at this is – don’t let anyone,
anything, anywhere, anytime, come in between you and your inner peace and your
happiness. The moment you are feeling unhappy about a person, a situation, an
event, pause and ask yourself why you are feeling the way you are. Go to the
source of your unhappiness and make sure you remove it. If it is something that
you cannot get rid of, at least, accept it.
Bottom-line: don’t grieve. For, it’s hardly intelligent
to live your Life grieving, worrying about what others will say or think of
you. Remember – it’s YOUR Life. No one, no one absolutely, other than you, has
a right over it.
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