Think about this. All our grief in
relationships comes from our wanting to be nice to people.
There’s nothing wrong in being nice, being
accommodative, adjusting and understanding. But if you try to do all of that at
the cost of your inner peace, you will end up feeling miserable.
Yesterday a friend called asking for a favor. He
wanted me to help him out with finding a tenant for a property he has. I do
have the intention to help him but I neither have the competence or contacts
and nor do I have the time to invest in that effort. I told him openly that I
may not be the right person at the moment for him to lean on – his rental value
proposition is complicated and needs lots of resourcefulness to resolve. As I
spoke with him for over 20 minutes, I employed my time-tested principle of
asking myself the following questions: 1. Can I really deliver on his request?
2. Will I be happy doing this for my friend especially at the cost of my own
time which is presently at a premium? I have noticed that whenever I weigh any
option based on what gives me joy or makes me happy, I am a lot clearer with
what I want to do. Or I am sure about what I don’t want to do. So, appraising
any situation on the happiness question is an important and efficient way to
make choices.
Whenever in doubt, whenever you are unconvinced
about doing something for someone or even for yourself, ask yourself – will this
make me happy? If the answer is no, simply don’t do it. There are
no two ways to be happy. Choosing to be happy is the only way. And you can
never go wrong with it!
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