Think about it. We try to control
everything about our Life that’s beyond our control. And don’t control the one
thing that’s well within our control!
This is the tragedy of our lives. We try,
all the time, in vain, to control Life. We control people, events,
relationships, careers…everything…and all these are beyond our control. And we
grieve. We suffer. We agonize over why we can’t get things under our control.
Your child’s in her teens. And she has a mind of her own. You are unable to
control why she’s on the phone, on facebook, and aloof from all the household
chores she used to help you with. You grieve. The person who you once loved
deeply, married, and thought will be your companion for Life, is now estranged.
You want to control him. But he’s moving further away. You are now wallowing in
a cesspool of sorrow. You are just not able to understand why you are not
finding a job. You are qualified, experienced, talented, intelligent. Double
degrees. But no job. So, you desperately try to control the situation. Offering
to work for even half the salary you were drawing. But no. It just ain’t
happening. You are devastated. You have always had a strict health regimen. And
you now have an arthritic condition. You are unable to run your marathons. You
want to, you try to, you land up in a bigger mess with your back and knees. You
are depressed.
You may resonate with some of these
situations. Or you may have some other. The point is that we must realize we
can’t control Life. We can’t really control what’s happening to us in Life.
Life is about phases. When Life’s testing you in a phase, it is not tormenting
you, as you often imagine. It is challenging you to overcome the phase.
Unemployment is as much a phase as romance is. Bankruptcy is as much a phase as
parenthood is. In all our grief, when we are being tested by Life, we miss the
opportunity to be joyous.
To be happy irrespective of what
circumstance you find yourself in is a choice you can exercise. The way you
respond to Life is the only
thing in your control. When you respond with grief and sorrow, you miss the
opportunity to be happy. So, clearly, Life and what happens in your Life, are
not in your control. How you live with whatever happens is in your control.
Decide if you want to party with the way your Life is or mourn the tragedy that
you think it is. Life’s not going to change the way it works.
Your best bet then: you change the way you live. Your call!
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