Life has to be faced, not feared

Your fearing something is not going to take that something away.

There are times in Life when nothing will go your way. There will be so much unsaid, so much unresolved. And it may just seem like everything is wrong about your Life. Every effort you make, each step you take, you will be stonewalled, tripped or pushed to a corner. The mind will invite you to despair. Decline that invitation artfully and let Life lead you.

Relax. Get yourself a cup of tea or grab a drink if you can. The mind is like a tennis-ball practice machine. It keeps spewing out worries and fears endlessly. These debilitating thoughts will tell you that you can and must solve the problems that face you just now. But what if you have already tried all that you can think up of. And failed. And the problems persist. The very thought that there’s no way forward may force you to allow your fears to take hold of you. Please don’t let them. Your fearing something is not going to take that something away. Life has to be faced, not feared.

The truth is that Life has always been flowing on its own. You and I have done precious little to make our lives happen. So, let Life happen as it has been happening and as it is happening. When things don’t go your way and when you don’t know what to do, accepting that there’s no choice than to wait and watch is an intelligent choice in itself.  Exercise it.

Patience is the way

If you have learnt to be patient in Life, with Life, you have mastered the art of living!

My friend and I had a creative and spiritual disagreement a few days ago. My friend argued that you cannot be patient when the whole world is impatient around you. The boss is breathing down your neck. The guy behind you is honking. People rush into elevators instead of filing into them with order and decorum. Your colleague is pressurizing you to finish up your part of the work fast so that she can get her job done faster. So, patience, really? It doesn’t work, my friend protested: “You live in a Utopian world, AVIS. Here, in today’s world, if you are not moving at the speed of light, if you are not overtaking slow-coaches and laggards, someone else is going to overtake you and them. The one who is moving fast, has the advantage. Patience does not work anymore today!”

Yet, despite my friend’s well-reasoned pitch, today’s world requires patience more as a must-have quality, a necessity, than as a rare virtue which, when available and used, can create value! Because patience alone can lead you to a Life of peace, personal well-being and prosperity.

Patience comes from a deeper understanding of Life. We are impatient with people, events, circumstances, service, technology, and with Life, because fundamentally we want things to happen our way. But that’s just not going to happen. Despite our living in a time of instant gratification – WhatsApp, Facebook and Twitter surreptitiously aiding and abetting it – Life works only in its own way, at its own pace. You can have your way only if you are patient with and in Life.

Osho, the Master, often narrated these three lines to help people understand Life better. He would say:

1.     Everything comes in its own time

2.     Everything comes when you are ripe

3.     Everything comes when you deserve it

Now, review your own Life in the context of these three statements. You will find that anything you have got so far from Life, stuff you have welcomed and have wanted, has come only per these three dimensions of Life. You may have wanted something and may have even been frustrated. And it has never come. You know your story better than anyone else. So, think back, and ask if you got anything you wanted any earlier or any later than when you needed it – when you finally got it? Were you not in total receiver mode to have got it? And you only got something when you truly deserved it, right?

Patience is about simply understanding these three dimensions of Life and reminding yourself of them every time you mind grieves or when frustration sets in. Simply, there is a no way to be patient; patience is the way!

Don’t seek a perfect solution – there isn’t one!

No solution is ever going to be the perfect one for any problem. So, don't despair.

Just attempt a solution and stay anchored in faith, humility and patience. Think about it. There is genius embedded in each of us. We know the solution to every problem we are faced with. But we end up applying way too much logic (too much academic education is a handicap here!) to our approach to finding solutions. We debate within ourselves on whether it will work, what if something unseen crops up, how that will affect other constituencies and such. This how we end up diluting our initial enthusiasm to solve the problem with debilitating arguments. Result: we don't pursue attempting the solution.

This is why we are unable to deal with most of our Life situations efficiently – from losing weight to giving up a habit to pursuing a career that we dream of or to ending a relationship that is not working out. The way to end this conundrum is to follow your heart. Apply logic, but don't be swept away by logic along. Allow what you feel about the situation to contribute to your solution. Remember that the imperfection in any solution that you foresee can be overcome with your sense of integrity to make a difference to the situation in front of you. Stay with the action always. Leave the result and outcome to the higher energy that surrounds us all.

Don’t complain! Just practice ‘shogonai’ and ‘gaman’!

If you can’t be solve a problem – just let go and be patient!

Complaining about Life and its vagaries is a sign of weakness. It demonstrates a tendency to resist what is happening and that does not yield any positive outcome.

In the context of the recovery of what may be debris from MH 370 at Reunion island, off the coast of Africa, I am reminded of two traits that the Japanese possess as a people: 'gaman' and 'shoganai'.

'Gaman' means patience, endurance, perseverance. And while 'shoganai' literally means 'nothing can be done'  or ‘it can’t be helped’; it also denotes a calm determination to overcome what cannot be controlled. The Japanese language testifies to how a sense of precariousness__since Japan is located in one of the most seismologically active spots on the planet; remember the tsunami of March 2011__has shaped a national consciousness. We have a lot to learn from this Japanese philosophy because most of us are forever complaining of what could have been and what we don't have!

Obviously, the recovery at Reunion brings to the surface the pain and trauma the MH370 passengers’ families have been experiencing. But ‘shogonai’ – what can be done to undo that pain? Nothing at all. So, only ‘gaman’ will work for them. Only time can heal their souls.

Just like the families of those who went missing with MH370, we too will do well to embrace 'gaman' and ‘shoganai' as simple, practical philosophies to deal with even in everyday Life.  You are in a traffic jam and late for your meeting. 'Shoganai'. You get a non-reclining seat on the plane. 'Shoganai'. There is a power outage. 'Shoganai'. By any stretch of imagination, 'Shoganai' does not imply fatalism. Which is why, it must be understood and practiced with 'gaman'. Both together encourage us to stop complaining about things that are beyond our control; instead they urge us to accept situations that leave us numb and helpless and plod us to persevere to change those things . In the context of acts beyond our control__like a health set back or a natural calamity or the passing away of a dear one__they remind us to accept reality and endure Life patiently.

Either way, the Japanese way of Life, invites us to stop complaining. To complain means to live in grief. And grief does not change reality. Neither does acceptance. But acceptance of any reality at least helps the one facing it to be at peace. When there is peace, there will be prosperity__as the Japanese have amply demonstrated in the past, bouncing back from the WW II Hiroshima bombings, and the more recent tsunami!

Feeling confused and lost in Life? Relax, if you are willing, you will find your way and light!

Only when you lose yourself, can you find your true Self. Only through a confusion can you gain clarity. Only when you deal with a crisis, will you awaken to realize yourself.   

There will often be times in Life when you don’t know what you are doing. Or you will not know whether you are doing the right thing or not. You seem to be lost. With no sense of direction. Every aspect of your Life seems broke and broken. It appears that no one wants you, no one loves you and nothing that you want to work ever works. In such situations, it is not unusual to feel an emptiness – along with self-pity, guilt, anger, depression and a sense of dreariness, purposelessness.

I have been through a similar situation in Life. When my Firm went bankrupt and we were plunged into a dark, hopeless, penniless phase in Life as a family, one night, I sat in my living room and was trying to swap channels. I was so disturbed that I was not able to attend to what I was doing. I was swapping the channels aimlessly not even knowing if I was understanding what was playing on any of them. At hand, apart from the TV remote, was a glass of whisky – a friend visiting us from overseas had brought a bottle of Glenfiddich some days ago. But while I drank my favorite Single Malt, I didn’t relish it either. Both the channel-swapping and the whisky-sipping were involuntary actions. I was not mindful of either. That’s when I turned to my bookshelf which was at arm’s length from where I sat that night in my living room. Almost involuntarily, I reached out to the Sai Satcharita (a book dedicated to extolling the Life and teachings of Shirdi Sai Baba). The book had been on my bookshelf for several years then. But not once had I had the urge to pick it up, or even read it. But that night I did both – without much thought or desire, I must quickly confess. I soon found the book ‘unreadable’ – the English translation is pathetic and getting past each page is sure to accentuate your suffering, especially if you love English as a language.

But two words stood out. And in the context in which my Life was placed then, they made imminent sense. Shraddha and Saburi – Faith and Patience. These two words form the cornerstones of Shirdi Sai Baba’s teachings and in a way hold the key to facing, dealing with, and living Life. Which is, keep the Faith – that is you have been created, you will be looked after, cared for and provided for. And while you keep the Faith, learn to be patient with Life – with people, circumstances and events.

Inspired by my “discovery” that night, I began to delve deeper. I embraced a form of meditation called mouna, meaning silence, where you practice daily silence periods. Through your remaining silent you train your mind to stay calm, anchored and focused. Along the way, I also turned to Osho, the Master. I found great value in what he had to say. His teachings pointed me in the direction of Zen Buddhism – I loved Osho’s practical, real-world, in-the-face approach. He always managed to distill the essence of Zen in the context of everyday living. That was indeed useful. As I explored Osho’s teachings further, and as I hung on to Baba’s two magical words, Faith and Patience, I found my Life transforming. My problems didn’t go away (they still are where they were 8 years ago) but my ability to deal with them improved greatly. Simply, I have learnt to accept my Life and whatever it brings my way, while making my efforts daily to do whatever is within my control to change my Life. But when my efforts don’t yield results, I don’t panic, I don’t grieve, I just try harder the next day. So, in a way, from being totally lost and confused in Life, I must say, I have found my true Self and have learnt that it is possible to be happy despite your circumstances.

The Venerable Subul Sunim
Abbot of the Beomeosa Monastery in Korea

Yesterday, we attended a Talk on Mindfulness at the InKo Centre by The Venerable Subul Sunim, the Abbot of the Beomeosa Temple in Korea, who is currently visiting Chennai. The Abbot made a very important point in his Talk which has great relevance to what I have shared here today: “Meditation can be compared to allowing the sediments in muddy water to settle, while Zen attempts to eradicate the sediments themselves.”

I can completely relate to the Abbot’s point of view. The muddy water is the confusion, that lack of clarity that haunts us when we feel our Life is listless or battle-weary through a crisis (a relationship break-down, health issues or even loss of a dear one). The sediments are the emotions we cling on to – pain, anger, jealousy, hatred, grief and such. So, in my case, while Baba’s two keywords, Faith and Patience, got me started and mouna helped me along, it was Osho’s teachings on Zen that helped me let go of all wasteful emotions.

To be sure, each of us is capable of reaching this state. But for that, you must let go of all those debilitating emotions that hold you hostage. Try Zen. It works. As the Abbot said yesterday, “The purpose of Zen is to awaken to the absolute and to enjoy mindful living perpetually.” But don’t rush to Zen as if it is a headache pill or because it’s a nice sounding word or the latest fad. Be hungry to explore and understand the true nature of Life. Be humble. Approach Life like a good student. As they say in Zen, when the student is ready – and willing – the teacher appears. And only a teacher, a guru, can dispel the darkness, clear the confusion and help you see your light – within!     

We are all “Work In Progress”

We are all 'Work In Progress'. Always. Constantly evolving, continuously improving and perpetually discovering ourselves!

At the time of our creation, we are created completely__endowed with features and all that we need to live a complete Life. And as we journey along, we unravel each of our endowments. As kids what we thought impossible, slowly with the nurturing of our families and teachers, we start accomplishing. As adults, with each stumbling block that comes our way, we discover faith, patience and resilience__qualities that we thought we never possessed in our early years.

And yet, our evolution and our process of self-discovery is never complete. The day we think we are complete and there is no more self-growth possible, we stop living and start existing.

So, don't crib about Life working on you all the time, because with each blow, with each stroke, you are becoming more complete, more beautiful! Enjoy growing up, don't worry about growing older!!!

The man who taught me Faith and Patience

Let’s not miss learning from fellow human beings, and being human, in our quest for God – a God who belongs to a (our) religion!

Picture Courtesy: Outlook/Internet

The latest issue of Outlook magazine, through its cover story, examines the “controversy” over Shirdi Sai Baba stirred by the Shankaracharya of Dwaraka Peeth in Gujarat. The Shankaracharya, Swami Swaroopanand Saraswati, says Outlook, believes that Sai Baba was neither a God nor a Saint, besides he was a Muslim who ate meat, and hence he should not be worshipped by Hindus. In response to a question from Outlook’s Prachi Pinglay-Plumber, Saraswati adds: “We are worried that if our devotees go there, they will stray from our religion. We believe one gets salvation by remembering God’s name at the time of death. But if people take Sai’s name, then what? He was not a god or a saint.”

I don’t wish to either educate Swami Saraswati on secularism nor do I wish to ask Outlook why it has chosen to project, on the cover, personal opinions of a few and make the whole story “appear controversial”. To me Shirdi Sai Baba was one of the greatest human beings that lived on this planet. There’s no bigger religion than humanity itself – and Baba espoused the cause of humanity through his teachings and the way he led his Life.

My own encounter with Baba’s teachings was a sheer accident. One weekend night, about 10 years ago, I was bored switching channels on TV. I was drinking my favorite whisky and, for lack of anything else better to do, I glanced at my bookshelf. Our personal copy of Sai Satcharita had been there for many, many years. But that night I picked it up and started reading it. The volume we had was a poor English translation of the Marathi original. The sentences were badly constructed and reading it was struggle initially. But in the hour or so that I spent with my drink and the book, three key takeaways emerged: 1. (Keep the) Faith 2. (Practice) Patience 3. Sab Ka Maalik Ek (There’s only one Creator for all of us; one Higher Energy!). Over this past decade, Baba’s twin doctrines of Faith (Shraddha) and Patience (Saburi) have become the guiding posts of my tumultuous Life. They have not only helped me find my way each time I am lost, they have also helped me anchor within. Through Baba’s continuous championing of Sab Ka Maalik Ek, I have inferred that Life is the Greatest Teacher, the Highest Energy, that powers the Universe and keeps us all alive. This awareness has led me to stop seeking God outside of me and has helped me go within, to find my true Self. One of the most admirable qualities in Baba, which I learnt about from studying his Life, was his compassion for people – irrespective of who they were, what religion they followed and what backgrounds they came from. I salute him for the practice he followed of cooking for and feeding people – everyday that he lived. In fact, this is a best practice that all Sai institutions across the world follow even today.

To me, therefore, Baba’s religious background is irrelevant. I don’t even want to know if he was indeed a Saint or if he was an incarnation of God. What is important is that he was a great human being and taught us all to be humane.

Yes, he did perform miracles. I was born almost half a century after he left this planet. And I did not turn to learning from Baba’s teachings, until a decade ago. Even so, I have felt his presence in my Life – through the compassion and kindness of fellow human beings. Every time my family and I have needed something – someone has always walked into our Life and fulfilled those needs. I have recounted some of these experiences in my Book “Fall Like A Rose Petal – A father’s lessons on how to be happy and content while living without money” (Westland, August 2014). Now if you want to call them Baba’s miracles, so they are. But if you were to look at them as “the milk of human kindness”, Baba wouldn’t have a problem with you at all – for that’s what he championed. That we humans be there for each other, irrespective of our social and religious backgrounds!

A large mass of humanity is searching for answers to live Life better. Some of that search, as in my case, takes us to people, like Baba, who inspire us to be better human beings. Don’t you think we miss the whole point when we don’t salute a great human being just because we are obsessed with finding a God who belongs to a (our) religion!?  

Life is a lot about being patient with what you want

Achieving whatever you set your sights on takes time. The key to achievement, above all else, is patience.  

Sandeep Narayan
Picture Courtesy: The Hindu/Internet

Yesterday we were at a Madras Week event where famed film critic and senior journalist Baradwaj Rangan was in conversation with Carnatic vocalist Sandeep Narayan, a disciple of renowned singer Sanjay Subrahmanyan. Sandeep was born in the US. He lived and grew up in Los Angeles for much of his Life until 1996, when he visited Chennai at the age of 11 to “touch and feel” the “world of Carnatic music at its Mecca”.  Ever since, Sandeep was drawn to Chennai and kept visiting here in summers and winters (for the famous Madras Music season). He completed his undergrad law degree in 2006 in the US and has since made Chennai his home. Evidently, Sandeep’s Life journey has been unique – most people from Chennai move westward after their undergrad programs. But here is someone who was drawn to Chennai, and to Carnatic music, from the West. Obviously, he faced huge cultural barriers and challenges. For one, most sabhas and people who mattered in the Carnatic music circuit treated him as an NRI – although he has been living here from 2006. His strong American accent while speaking English did not help much. Then breaking through the politics that governs the Carnatic music scene has been difficult – and often times depressing, especially because Sandeep chose not to do “his PR” with the sabhas or play “politics”. “I just didn’t fit in doing those things,” he confessed. This really meant that there would be long spells – often months – when he would not get concerts to sing. But he was patient. He kept practising and kept attending every concert possible – to learn as much as he could. Then, slowly, people started offering him concerts. And now, in the last few years, he’s among the more sought after Carnatic musicians.

Someone in the audience, empathizing with the challenges Sandeep had to face, asked him if he had a method to deal with his “lows”: “How did you handle those painful phases when you had no concerts and people were not willing to give you a chance?”

Sandeep replied: “I just kept believing in myself and my music. Thankfully I didn’t go into depression. But there were undoubtedly several lows amidst a lot of pain. But I kept practising and kept listening to music. I had decided that this, Carnatic music, is my Life. And I am not going to make compromises with it. Now, I can surely say that there are highs, some very high highs, and there are not too many lows, and never the deep lows. I guess being patient with what you want helps.”

I thought that was a very simple yet profound answer.

At this point popular television and film actor, Mohan Raman, piped in from the audience to say: “I have been around for 25 years in my industry and I have learnt to deal with the unpredictable nature of securing projects by simply being happy with whatever I get!” Mohan is a wonderful artiste and has done several celebrated roles in Tamil cinema. Even so, his ability to accept whatever comes his way, offers a teachable perspective for us to learn from.

Marrying both points of view – Sandeep’s and Mohan’s – I believe the best way to approach Life – and your business or career goals – is to keep doing your best and never get influenced by the outcomes. Life is a lot about being patient with what you want. I liked Sandeep’s attitude to invest the time he spent waiting for a break to practise being a better musician. And I like Mohan’s point that we must learn to be happy with what we get. Interestingly, when you are patient, you are actually demonstrating how much conviction you have in yourself and in all that you are pursuing. Most people want results instantly and get frustrated when things don’t work out despite their best efforts. This is where depression sets in and suffering takes over. Never let your frustration drive you. Be driven surely – but by your passion and your vision for yourself. When you are sure of the direction you have chosen in your Life and are patient – and happy – on the road, somewhere along the way, you do arrive at the destination that you were always destined to arrive at!

Missed the bus, mercifully, not the learning

One of the biggest qualities that you develop, as you journey through Life, is patience. As you learn to be patient with Life, you also learn to anchor in faith – not in religion or “a” God, but in the Universe’s benevolence.

Over the weekend I delivered a Talk in Bengaluru on the Life lessons that my wife and I have learnt while learning to live without money. One of the people in the audience came up to me after my Talk and said: “AVIS, I think you are blessed with remarkable patience and inner strength. You are truly displaying resilience.” On the flight back to Chennai, I reflected on that comment and couldn’t but help chuckling to myself. Me – and patient? Do I really have inner strength? Do patience and inner strength help build resilience? Honestly, I wouldn’t know.

However, that reflection transported me back in time to a morning 27 years ago when I had missed a bus to work. I had reported late at the bus stop that morning because I had got embroiled in an insipid argument with my mother. The next bus to work was not to arrive for another hour at least. I rushed back home, barged into the living room and bawled at my mother, blaming her for my plight! Our brawl was so intense that it required all my father’s diplomacy to broker a peace between the two of us. My dad, who had stepped out of the bathroom mid-way through his morning shave, took me aside and told me: “Son, it doesn’t matter if you miss a bus in Life. You can always take the next one. If you miss something in Life, it means it wasn’t something that was ordained for you. But let me tell you this – you must also learn to be patient with yourself and others.” It was a simple yet profound lesson on intelligent living which every right-thinking father ought to teach his child. I was lucky have got it from my dad that day. But, at 19, I neither had the wisdom nor the frame of mind to realize the value of what my father was saying. I immaturely concluded that he was trying to justify my mother’s actions and was supporting “only” her. I snatched my father’s shaving razor from his hand, stomped out of the bedroom that we were talking in, and flung the razor at the TV in the living room. The screen, instantaneously, cracked – badly.

The steward on the plane who paused by me for collecting my water glass brought my attention back to my journey as it is today. My father’s words ring so true now – and I am grateful to Life that while I missed both the bus and the learning back then, I have not missed the learning forever. If there’s anything I can ever claim I have learnt from Life – though a dark and excruciatingly painful phase that we are going through – over the past 10 years, I can say it is faith and patience. From someone who couldn’t accept missing a bus that caused a one hour delay, to someone who has chosen to be accepting of a seemingly endless struggle, spanning several years – missing the bus, if you extend the metaphor – I believe I have changed a lot. And, hopefully, for the better. Along the way, I have also understood that faith really is the ability to keep believing – no matter what – in yourself and in the Universe. It is to know that if you have been created you surely will be taken care of and provided for. When this realization happens, you become more patient with people and situations. And holding on to faith and patience, you learn to walk strongly in Life, one step at a time, one day at a time, one dark tunnel at a time.

Patience is letting Life happen

We were visiting our friends for ‘Golu’ (the South Indian Dusshera/Navarathri festival) last evening. Our host, Janaki, complimented her husband Sabesh’s remarkable patience in creating a fabulous theme and design for their ‘Golu’ year-after-year. “It is believed in our family that when God distributed patience, Sabesh was the only one around,” she gushed!

Why is it that some people are extremely patient while several others are simply impatient? Is patience a virtue we are born with or is it something that you can develop, over time, with practice?

I was impatient with Life too, once upon a time. My first boss, my News Editor K.V.Mahadevan, at the Indian Express, 25 years ago, even wrote about me, well – not so glowingly, in his weekly column back then: ‘AVIS is a man in a hurry!’ Over the years of growing up, I have come to realize that patience is something that comes with a deep understanding of Life.

You are impatient only when you think you are in control. That you are causing the outcomes of all your efforts. That you are at the center of your Universe.

With our busy schedules and our Things To Do lists, we have all become so habituated to getting things done! The truth about Life is it is not ‘a thing’. So, it cannot be done. Life simply happens. You cannot get done with Life. You have to live it. And Life happens at its own pace, in its own time. Patience arrives when you discover that the whole Universe, the cosmos, is at your center, within you! You become patient when all the passion within you converts to compassion, to a deep-felt loving for all creation – when you are soaked in gratitude for the opportunity that this lifetime offers you.

Simply, being patient means just being. Be forever grateful for what has happened in your Life so far and be witnessing the happening, the unfolding of Life in the present. Patience is about letting Life happen, waiting expectantly, with curious eyes, with a deep longing, with love!

But the human mind will try to hoodwink you. It will convince you that this has not happened in your Life, or that, and will drive you nuts. So, patience is really the outcome of your ability to outwit your own mind. I have learned to tell my mind to shut up and accept what is. It’s not easy. Because the mind is like a monkey – it will keep wanting what you refuse to give it, again and again. But, nevertheless, it is simple – you have to keep on telling the same thing until you tire your mind out into submission. Practising daily silence periods, mouna, or mediation greatly helps. Because when you are silent you can hear the voice of your soul that is telling you to let go, to stop clinging on, to stop demanding, and allow Life to happen to you.

You too can sample patience. Here’s a Trial Offer! This Monday morning as you navigate your way to work through rush hour traffic, stop complaining. Just let the traffic happen. Go with the flow. Don’t curse anyone or anything. Don’t honk. Don’t cut lanes. Simply go with the flow. Feel how fresh you are when you arrive at work. If you can feel that energy in you, be sure, patience has arrived in your Life too. That’s all there is to it – patience is letting Life – well, traffic, in this case! – happen and not demanding that it get done!

When Life slows down, enjoy it in slow motion!

There will be times in Life when you have to simply hang in there. Nothing you do will work for you. And each day will be slow, dreary and hard to live through. All you can do in such a time is to believe that Life is teaching you to keep the Faith and develop Patience.

Nobody loves a problem situation. So, really, no one wants a challenging phase in Life to prolong – joblessness, a business slowdown, a critical health condition or a messy relationship drama. But what can you do in the face of Life’s onslaught? As they say in cricket, when the bowling is intense and difficult to play, simply let the ball go past you. Don’t stick your bat out, don’t play a rash shot in desperation or you will lose your wicket! In fact, India Captain, M.S.Dhoni, told the media, after his team’s Tri-Nation Trophy triumph at Port of Spain (West Indies) yesterday: “Sometimes you have to play boring cricket.” He was referring to the difficult-to-negotiate overs in between when the Indian run rate slowed down and the team lost wickets in quick succession.

So it is with Life too – when it becomes boring and painful, you can avoid the suffering by simply accepting that your Life, for now, is playing out in slow motion. Actually, why must Life always be fast paced? Why do we need to be running from meeting to meeting, chore to chore, commute to commute all the time? Why must everything be an agenda item or on a To Do List?

A good metaphor to hold is that of a clock that’s ticking away even in a thunderstorm. Un-fluttered. Unmoved. A strong mind is like the clock. It remains untouched by the vagaries of Life. Neither exulting vainly in success nor tormented in failure. To be sure, Life is not only about winning and losing. It is, in fact, all about living. And living does not need a pre-qualification. Living simply means being present in the moment, no matter where you find yourself. Jalaluddin Rumi, the 13^th Century Persian mystic and poet, has said it so beautifully: “Take sips of this pure wine being poured. Don’t mind that you have been handed a dirty cup!”

I have learned that Faith is not about a God or religion. Faith is knowing that everything happens for a reason. And since the reason will not always be immediately evident, you must have Patience to last a trying phase, till the reason shows up! Life is not a 100-meter race. If you rush through it too fast or keep brooding its slow pace you will surely miss the scenery! And since you can’t ever go back in time or Life, the most intelligent thing you can do is to live fully every moment of the Life that’s playing out for you, enjoying its magic and beauty!  

                                                                                                                                                                                

Everything’s as it should be and all is well

Everything happens at the right time. In Life, there’s really no concept of a good time or a bad one. Good or bad are labels that we human beings place. Life’s happening at its own pace, of its own accord and in the way it must happen.

We agonize over things, events and people because we seek instant gratification. In an SMS generation, this is even more starkly evident. Everyone wants everything now and fast.

Practicing mindfulness, enjoying every breath we take, every morsel we eat, every sight we behold, is the best way to live. This doesn’t mean you must not be ambitious or aggressive. This means don’t rush through Life as if it were a 100-meter race. It is not. Learn to be patient. Everything happens to a plan, and just because we are not aware of that plan it doesn’t mean there isn’t one! What we may like to accept and keep in mind always is that, this Master Plan has no flaws.

Kabir, the 15^th Century weaver-poet, has said this so beautifully:

Dheere Dheere Re Mana, Dheere Sub Kuch Hoye

Maali Seenche Sau Ghara, Ritu Aye Phal Hoye

It means:

Slowly, slowly O! Mind….everything happens at its own pace…

The gardener may water with a hundred buckets, but the fruit arrives only in its season….

So as you rush through another Monday, breathe easy, slow down, be mindful. Don’t let the traffic affect your mood. Don’t let your meaningless meetings drain you. Don’t let any no disappoint you. Know that everything is fine. And as that memorable line in the classic Hindi movie ‘3 Idiots’, which I was watching on TV last night, goes, ‘All EEZ WELL’. In fact, everything is as it should be and all is well!

Manic Monday? Follow the ‘Take It Easy’ Policy….

At the breakneck pace at which our daily lives travel, Monday mornings are simply a magnified version of the turmoil in us. Being patient on a Monday morning, therefore, may seem like a feat. In reality though, whether it is a Monday or any other day, patience is the only way to connect with Life’s beauty and magic!

A business associate who leads HR in a large client company called me unusually some time back. It was around lunchtime here in India. I was perplexed. Normally this gentleman would text me or write me a mail. I did not pick up his call as I was at lunch. After lunch I found a message from him that said he was just calling to say hello! I called him back!

Answering his phone he said: “Sir, this Monday morning when I came to work, our server crashed. I had tons of work planned for completion today. We also had to work on hundreds of appraisals and issue increment letters. The IT folks told me it will take all day today to restore operations to normal. I was first very angry. Because I wanted to finish all that we had planned. Besides, I have to travel on work from tonight. Then I said to myself ‘What’s the point in getting angry? Let me just take it easy!’ So, I said, let me call and connect with people who I had not spoken to in six months. I decided to call just so that I reach out. If they are available great. If not, they would know I tried connecting! After just a few calls, a feeling of calm overtook me. My anger disappeared. And I felt great joy in re-connecting with people.”

My friend here has just stumbled upon Life’s greatest secret: that taking Life as it comes is better than expecting it to go to clockwork precision. There really is no point in fighting Life. Because it is a zero-sum game: you can’t win against Life and Life was never playing to win! Life’s beauty lies in things as they are, in people as they are, in events as they happen. When things don’t go your way, accept them for the way they are going! This attitude will ensure that you practice patience in each situation__however stupid or serious it may be. We all go through mad, manic Mondays or simply, some bad-hair days! The traffic snarls. The heat, especially at this time of the year, in India can be cruel. Everything, everyone can be driving you crazy. Patience then is the secret to experience peace. It is in fact the only way to live intelligently.

A cool song composed by A.R.Rahman from the 1994 movie ‘Kadhalan’ (‘Hum Sai Hai Muqabala’ in Hindi) comes to mind. The catchy lyrics had this inspirational line – ‘To win in Life you need a Take It Easy policy’! And whatever is driving you nuts or not going your way this Monday, get inspired by this song, and my friend’s experience, and simply ‘Take It Easy!’….

Finding strength in a storm

How do you find strength in a storm? How do you survive the onslaught of Life when everything that you thought was yours is taken away from you? Where do you re-start Life from when you are left in the cold - helpless, hapless, battered, and bruised by Life’s blows? What do you do when you have nothing material left anymore with you other than perhaps the clothes you are wearing? Some people have the support of their families and some don’t at such times. Either way, sometimes Life’s situations may be so numbing that there as only questions and no answers!

You may at various times in your Life have braved many a storm or perhaps may be going through one just now. When you sit back and think about the Life you have, you will realize that there is no other way to live Life than to accept what is, no matter what it is.

Here are simple tips based on lessons I have learned in my rather eventful Life so far:

1. Accept the reality that you are in the throes of a crisis. Don’t resist the situation. Don’t wish that it didn’t exist. Simply accept it.
2. Focus not on the strength of the storm but on your true self. Know that the storm will always be strong. It will be menacing. It will threaten to destroy you. By even thinking of its ferocity, you are only going to feel debilitated. So, focus on your inner self. Just mindfully watching your breathing can help. When you are mindful, always, you will find calm and inner peace. From that calm, you will gain strength.
3. Always ask this simple question which can often lead you to profound answers: “Given the situation I am faced with, what is the best thing I can do to make things better for everyone concerned?” Employ key criteria for choosing what action you can take out of many possible options that may follow the question. Your action must always be positive, constructive and ethical.
4. In particularly complex Life situations which can often dog you for months and years, it is worthwhile to revisit Tip # 3 on a daily basis and choose your daily actions only basis those criteria.
5. No matter how intense it is, no storm lasts forever. All storms have to pass. So, this one too shall pass. Just remember that.

This may seem too simplistic for you to even believe it works. But this is the only way it works __ no matter what you are faced with! Life’s challenges come in different shapes and sizes, in the form of storms of varying intensities. We cannot stop the storms because we don’t have the controls to Life’s mechanisms in our hand. But our facing each of them with humility, with faith and patience, can convert any ordeal into an opportunity to evolve and awaken!