Stop craving for attention. Start
giving full, undivided attention. In this crucial shift in thought and action
lies the secret to bliss.
Picture yourself at home. You have done
something nice, maybe made a great meal. Your spouse comes in. Throws her
belongings on the carpet, rushes into the kitchen, grabs a juice and some
cookies, completely oblivious of the entire spread laid out on the kitchen
counter. You are wondering why she is so uncaring. You crave for that “Hey,
what’s all that for dinner tonight?” conversation. And then when it doesn’t
happen, you sulk. You reply in monosyllables and say good night and go to
sleep. What happened there? In your craving for attention, you missed out on
giving complete undivided attention to your spouse: maybe she was fatigued
after a long day at work or maybe she was unwell or maybe she’s too stressed
out. How magical would it have been had you started by asking, “Is there something
that I can do for you?” or “Would you like to taste your favorite pasta that I
have whipped up with pesto sauce?” The same attitude and approach applies in
all situations in Life. At a busy airline counter, you blow your top at an
agent who has not looked up at you because she’s perhaps been busy, overworked,
or is having a relationship crisis. But you craved for a ‘Good morning there,
how can I help you?” and since that didn’t happen, you lost your cool. Another
instance: In a meeting to discuss the strategy for your company’s new product,
you are fourth in line to make a presentation. But because your CEO is
applauding the previous presenter, you have lost your focus and are now worried
if your work will be celebrated similarly. In your craving for attention, which
breeds anxiety, you lose your flow, stumble through your slides and perhaps
even evoke a reprimand from your CEO for poor preparation. And you go back
home, behaving like that spouse who grabbed the juice and cookies, missing to
notice the great meal spread out awaiting your arrival!
You see how one thing leads to another. The
solution is to give complete undivided attention to whatever you are doing.
Just that one thing. Nothing else must matter. When you do that,
systematically, in each moment, you will become one of the greatest listeners
in the world, and you will see only beauty, perfection and joy in everything.
All the time. When we are craving for attention, we are really being
judgmental. “Oh, he doesn’t care!” This really means you wished he cared. “No.
I am not wanted here.” This means you are craving to be wanted. Undivided
attention minus judgment, minus the craving, delivers love. And where there is uninterrupted love for whatever you are
experiencing: a person, an object, a flow, a situation, you will feel bliss.
You will be bliss.
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