People
are people. There are no right people and wrong people. You just either relate
to people or you don’t.
We met an entrepreneur the other day who
leads a large organization. He has about 15 people reporting to him. Over the
last couple of years that we have known this entrepreneur, he has forever been
complaining about the lack of ownership among his leadership team. He is obsessing
over how to sack the “laggards” among his direct reports – but, ironically, he hasn’t
been able to do anything in that direction. Every time we meet him though, he
only keeps complaining, fretting and fuming about his people. In a way, we sense
so much negativity emanating from him – it makes me wonder whether he has a
problem with his people of if he is the problem?
Contrast this with what Suresh Krishna,
the CMD of Sundram Fasteners, shared with me when I met him recently for my Sunday
Blog Series – “The Happiness Road”: “There
are no right or wrong people. There are just people. And you have to take them
along. This ability to take everyone along is what leadership is all about!”
I totally agree with Krishna. Seriously,
whether it is in business, at work, or in family, don’t obsess over people and
their behaviors. There are no right or wrong people. Everybody is right in
their own way. In fact people do whatever they do because they believe what
they are doing is right from where they are seeing it. To be sure, even you –
or I – do things only from that perspective. So, there is no point in vexing
over people like our entrepreneur-friend has been doing. You either relate to
someone or you don’t. And people either relate to you or they don’t. And it is
only when two people continue to relate to each other that they (can) work with
or live with each other. It is, really, as simple as that.
I have learnt to employ a simple thumb-rule:
no matter who they are, anyone who I cannot relate to, does not form part of my
ecosystem. Whether it is a co-worker, a family-member, a school-mate, a
neighbor or vendor, the day I have stopped relating to a person, I just let
them go. This is my way of preserving and nurturing positive energy – and inner
peace – in me.
When you agonize over people’s behavior,
and your unmet expectations of them, you are filling yourself with a lot of
anxiety, stress and, possibly, negative energy. This negativity festers in you
and makes you inefficient, irate and, believe me, very, very unhappy. The only
way to fix this situation is to drop all expectations you have of people, and
to simply walk away – or let them go – if you have stopped relating to them. The key to thrive, at work and in Life, is to keep relating,
than obsess over the reporting or the relationship itself!
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