POPO: Pissed On and Passed Over!
This often happens
to all of us in Life. And leaves us frustrated, fuming, feeling negative and
vengeful. So, when this happens to you, or if it is happening to you just now,
take it easy. You are not the only one. We are all POPO-ed__one way or the
other. When this happens in a relationship, you feel like a used paper tissue.
And the grief of having been taken for a ride, taken for granted, takes a long,
long time to heal. At work, it leaves you disenchanted and grumpy. You sulk.
You stop putting in your best and reason with yourself asking ‘what’s the use?’
But here’s a
different take. When POPO-ed don’t do the normal. Don’t grieve. Don’t sulk.
Don’t give up on the individual. Instead keep giving your 100 %. Grieving,
sulking, bad-mouthing and cold-shouldering are acts of cowardice. Fight the
injustice but with love, with mindfulness, by serving. In fact, whatever
happens in Life, happens because it was meant to be so. If someone got
promoted, that person perhaps deserved it. But in your eyes, you deserved it
more. Instead of saying ‘hey, this is unfair’ respond with ‘how could I have
served better so that I could have got it.’ This whole idea of deserving must be
preceded by serving. Serve to deserve. And even then if you don’t get what you
think was truly yours, live in the acceptance of that verdict. This is what
will help you retain your sanity, stay anchored and keep moving on.
When we get caught
in the cesspool of negative energy, resentment, anger and vengefulness, we are
hurting ourselves. We must be selfish here. If someone pissed on you, trampled
on you, let you down, they did it because they wanted to hurt you. And you will
be, by being angry with them, by carrying vengeance and hatred in your heart,
allowing them to succeed. If someone overlooked you and gave another what must
have truly come to you__a job, a raise, a promotion, a gift, a compliment, a
reward, whatever__understand that this person may either want to hurt you or
must have a different point of view. By burning within, you are helping this
person get what she wants. By reacting without understanding her point of view,
you are being judgmental. So, the most selfish, the most blissful response to
being POPO-ed is to be selfless and give the situation love, all your attention
and magnanimity, to keep doing what you would have done if the situation did
not exist. This is your way to inner peace.
Now, many times,
people tell me, “But I am not Saint or a Mahatma? I am not evolved. I am just
human.” Please know that Gandhi was also an unevolved, hurting human and he
died only because he was human. To be evolved you don’t need to be a Saint. And
being a Saint does not mean you are meek. A Saint, a true Saint, is a warrior
of a different kind. Someone who has conquered the demons within. Someone who
knows that it is but natural for Life and people to be unfair, that being
POPO-ed is but a dimension of Life, a phase that we have to live with. Not with
suffering. But with peace.
This doesn’t mean
that the peaceful should not fight the injustice. But fight it differently.
First don’t hurt. Next, return love for hatred and respect for contempt. Third,
if there has truly been a case of injustice, choose a form of protest which
rises above the ordinary and refuse to yield to the injustice by giving the
situation 100 % of everything. These are not contradictory approaches. They are
complementary. When you are peaceful, you will be able to fight meaningfully and
successfully. So when POPO-ed, be mindful and loving, don’t
be sulking!
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