The more we deny, the farther we are
moving away from happiness.
Life’s problems don’t always happen all
of a sudden. They often build up over a period of time. We don’t see the
problem as it is because of the state of denial we are often in.
A smoker knows smoking will lead to
cancer. But he or she keeps denying that this reality will affect his or her
Life; and so goes on smoking.
Many, many months before my Firm went
bankrupt, a wise client (and a close friend) of mine had told me that “if you
continue running your business this way, pretty soon you will go bankrupt”. I
denied his sage counsel. I thought since he was older to me, he was
conservative and hence not a risk-taker. So, I did not heed his advice.
Eventually, when my Firm’s fortunes came crashing, I awakened to the
realization that I should have never denied the problem we were in all that
while.
Someone we know, who is very creative,
is struggling to get one of his events off the ground. He just can’t find
sponsors. He already owes money to people for an event he staged some months
ago. So prudence demands that he does not launch a new event without settling
his previous dues and without tying up sponsors. But he simply wants to plough
on and is getting all stressed out as the event date approaches. He’s often
breaking down and cries aloud that the Universe is not compassionate to him. Indulging
in self-pity is a sure sign of denial. What this person must recognize is that
the business model he is following is not taking off. So, something new must we
worked on. Pushing forward without sponsors will only mean that he is digging himself
a bigger grave – of debt!
Denying something even though you know
it exists__a financial, relationship, health or self-belief problem__doesn’t
make the problem go away. Or simply, denial does not help you avoid
experiencing pain in a problem situation. It, in fact, increases your
suffering. Because, since the problem doesn’t cease to exist, and continues to
nag you, you are forever consumed by your fears. Wherever there is fear,
suffering will be there too. To be sure, on the other hand, accepting__and not
denying__a problem too does not make the problem go away. But because you
accept it, and therefore you attempt to work on solutions__however long they
may take__despite the pain, despite the circumstances, you do find inner peace
and happiness.
There are no two ways to live Life.
There is just one way __ live in total acceptance. The moment you deny whatever
is happening, whatever you are going through, you are not saying yes to Life.
You are not saying yes to whatever is. Know that saying yes to what is always
leads to happiness – whatever be the circumstances!
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