Sometimes Life’s problems will
confound you. It could be a relationship
tangle, a financial situation, a health crisis or a professional challenge. You
will find, to your dismay, that whatever solution you attempt will just not
work. Because some things are simply not meant to be.
I recently met a man who is a master of his
craft. He’s an extremely successful chef at a leading hospitality chain. We got
talking. And I politely enquired about his family. He laughed heartily.
Taking a deep breath, he replied: “I have
been married thrice. I got divorced twice. And widowed once. I have a 20-year-old
autistic son who lives me. So, that’s my family!”
I felt sorry I had asked him that question.
But he showed no signs of discomfort. Just so that we made the conversation
easier, I remarked: “Oh! I am sorry. Must be tough on you. But you seem to be
very enthusiastic about Life!”
He said: “Sorry? Don’t be. I have realized
that I cannot have a regular, normal family that many others have. I have
accepted that companionship is not part of my Life’s scene! Raising my son as a
single parent has been difficult but I don’t complain anymore. My problems go
through me! I don’t go through any problems. Not anymore!”
His simple, matter-of-fact attitude is very
inspiring. Indeed. Isn’t that a practical way to look at Life? We normally
respond to Life’s challenges with a sense of shock and dismay. We always lament
about Life and wonder how difficult it is to go through the problems we are
faced with. But here my chef friend has flipped the paradigm. His sense of
acceptance has made him unflappable! There’s a learning here for us too. When
you grieve over the Life you have you suffer. But when you accept it, while
there may be pain, there will be no suffering. Perhaps,
you may want to try this chef’s recipe for ‘non-suffering’: “let your problems
go through you; you simply accept what is.”
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