Pain is a visitor. It will stay with you, serve a tenure and
go away. If you focus on the pain, you won’t be able to enjoy the Life you have
as long as the pain lingers on!
I had
been postponing a series of dental procedures for a few years now. The reason
has been simple: lack of money to fund them. As happens with most urgent and
important matters, my dental situation started causing me discomfort over the
last few weeks. After a round of opinions, and a full mouth X-Ray, my dentist,
a very mature and reassuring lady, Dr.Aparna, advised that I get rid of two of
my teeth. One of them at least required a surgical procedure. I am 48 now. And
barring the ‘usual’ stuff like what most of us deal with – colds, virals, two
severe bouts of rheumatoid arthritis and a now-benign asthmatic condition – I
have never been in hospital with someone cutting me up. My diabetic condition
too means that I must be be extremely wary of any invasive procedure. But we
decided to go with Dr.Aparna’s advice. In preparing me for the procedure, she
asked me: “Sir, how would you describe your ability to handle pain?” I thought
for a moment and said, “My ability to handle physical pain is average, but I am
very good at handling emotional pain.”
Indeed. While
our bankruptcy has helped me become emotionally resilient and I must say I do
deal with mental trauma very efficiently, I have, mercifully, not had much
experience dealing with physical pain, especially on the health front. Yes,
bouts of severe asthma and rheumatoid arthritis can be very painful – and debilitating.
But I have not had any surgery done on me. So, this procedure was to be a
different experience.
(The last time I had had a dental procedure
done, at least from what I can remember, was when I was six years old. We used
to live in Jaipur. And the name of the clinic was Mohan Dental Clinic. It was
bang opposite Prakash Talkies. My dad bought me an ice-cream and took me to
watch a movie playing at Prakash – it was called “Zanjeer”, a movie that not
only marked the arrival of the Angry Young Man, and Superstar, Amitabh Bachchan
in Indian cinema, it also marked the beginning of my fan journey, which still
continues, with him! Interestingly, when I walked in for my extraction
yesterday, I was reading a new book “Written by Salim-Javed: The story of Hindi
Cinema’s Greatest Screenwriters” (Penguin, Diptakirti Chaudhuri). The book,
among so many other stories, looks at the evolution of Amitabh Bachchan,
considered to be Salim-Javed’s protégé.)
This
procedure was indeed a new one for me. The local anesthesia administered made the
process simpler – and in fact “cool” and “enjoyable”! Dr.Aparna had told me to
expect pain within an hour of the anesthesia wearing off. And surely it
arrived. Initially, it seemed unbearable. But I decided to employ all my
spiritual experience – and learning – to deal with the pain. I was reminded of
the Buddha’s most powerful – and my favorite – saying: “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” I made a choice: I was
not going to suffer. I was not going to resist the pain or ask how long it
would be there. I told myself: let it be;
and let me be. I guess it worked. I slept peacefully last night. I still
have a nagging swelling and very mild pain – I feel both only when I think of
the procedure and the wound it has left behind!
I can
now totally relate to what Ramakrishna Parahamsa (1836~1886) once said. He was diagnosed
with throat cancer in the beginning of 1885. During his last days he was
advised not to speak – so as not to aggravate his ailment. But he preferred
meeting, interacting and conversing with his followers. He told his doctors, “My
disease and I peacefully co-exist in my body”. This is such a spiritual and
evolved perspective.
Most of
us see all forms of pain as traumatic because we don’t know how to detach
ourselves from our situations or conditions. We also think that pain arrives in
our Life with an agenda to make us suffer. Here’s what I believe it is: Pain is pain. Pain has no agenda.
Whether it is the bankruptcy – and resultant complexities we are having to deal
with daily on that count – or a dental procedure that I had to deal with or any
other situation/condition that may come tomorrow, I will suffer only if I wish the
situation/condition didn’t exist. Suffering is clearly a human creation. Pain
is a natural process. In Life, what goes up will come down, what is gained will
be lost, the human body will have its share of wear and tear and you will be
faced with myriad grievous situations – physical and emotional – yet, all this
pain can’t touch you, won’t affect you, if you just treat your pain as a
visitor and choose not to suffer. Simply, pain has no
voice if you can mute the suffering!
Nice one sir...
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