Criticism can be debilitating only if you don’t know how to
handle it. If you consider its constructive perspective and don’t dwell on who
is criticizing, you can actually learn a lot from it – and improve yourself.
The best way to
deal with criticism is the way you would deal with hot candle wax. First allow
it to dry up. It is a lot easier to discard it and get it out of your system
when it has become cold and stale. Understand also that criticism is just a
review about an event or action that is over, past, dead and done away with. In
the now, in the present, there is no issue. So, learn to let go and move on
than dwelling in the past! Second, appreciate where the person who is critical
of your actions is coming from. Even if the person is unjustified, rude,
violent or cruel, understand that that person has a right to her or his view.
It belongs to that person and does not belong to you __ even if it is about
you. Third, understand the message that is being conveyed and see if you can
learn from what is being said. Train your mind to respond with an exclamation__from
awe, from wonder, from amazement__ that says “Is that so?” instead of
responding with anger and violence while asking “How dare you?” Know that when
you, even if it is only in your mind, question the other person’s right to
opinionate, criticize, it is really your ego which is leading you. Refuse to
follow. Turn your attention away. Learn to treat the whole experience like a
game. Tell yourself: “Hey! Watch out! This situation, this comment, this person
is provoking me. And my mind is urging me to fall prey, to succumb. Let me
escape!” And each time you win, punch your fist up like a champion will. When
you do succumb, do get dragged into the situation and when you emerge from it
bruised and grieving, remind yourself to not fall prey again.
Like with all
other games you have learned to play in Life, you get better and better at
dealing with criticism with practice. Then, over a period of time, you will
have mastered the art of being unmoved. All criticism, then,
will just fall off you - like water falls off a duck’s back!
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