Being
angry with a situation and expressing your anger on everyone and everything
around you is never an intelligent response.
I watched a
beautiful Malayalam film the other day called Manjadikuru. Made by Anjali Menon (of Bangalore Days fame), the film tells the story of a family as seen
through the eyes of an 11-year-old boy, Vicky. One of the protagonists of the
film is a man called Raghu (played by Rahman). And Raghu is forever angry with
his family – with his brother and his sisters. Raghu’s anger seems often
irrational and habituated. As in one moment he could be complaining about his
brother’s decision to turn a Naxalite, abdicating his family responsibilities,
and the other moment he could be ranting about his sisters flocking together
only to seek a share in the family wealth. So, Vicky, while narrating the
story, concludes that his big learning watching Raghu’s bouts of anger is that those who are angry are often helpless.
Anjali Menon (who
is also the writer of the film) shares a phenomenal spiritual insight there.
Something that I can totally relate to. I used to be prone to senseless bouts
of anger too. I once remember, as a 20-year-old, flinging my shaving razor at
our television – which left it cracked – because I could not have a reasonable,
logical conversation with my parents. Years later, when these anger spells had
become far too frequent and had begun to ruin my professional stature, I
discovered that each time I lost it, I was choosing to express myself in a
violent sort of way only because I was unable to control what was going on or
what others were saying or doing or because I was unable to convince someone. Bottomline:
my helplessness was manifesting as anger.
Through diligent
practice of mouna (daily silence
periods), I learnt that your helplessness is nothing but a ego-based position.
Why do you need to convince anybody? You have a right to your opinion. And they
have a right to theirs. It is only when you try to force your view on someone
and you fail, it is only when you try to control a situation and you fail, that
you get angry. But the truth is that you never were in control of anything or
anyone. Things just happen. People just behave the way they want to. So, just go
with the flow. There is no need to be angry. And even if you do experience
anger, channelize it constructively. Anger is nothing but the energy within
you. Don’t squander it through violent thought, expression or action. Simply
use it to drive change in a logical, legitimate fashion. This is what Gandhi
did to practise ahimsa and help
secure India her independence. This is what anger, when used constructively, can
eventually yield.
So, if you are
experiencing too much anger within you, pause and ask yourself if you are
responding so only because you are helpless? In asking
that question, you may well unlock the way to a lifetime of inner peace.
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